Page 31 of Sin of Silence

She was ashamed of herself. Since coming into Jozef’s life she’d done nothing but fall apart. She had gone from a self-possessed, cool, collected surgeon to a woman who couldn't keep her shit together. Shaun was the type of doctor who could stand in an emergency room and calmly direct other medical personnel during a flood of patients. At a glance, she could easily assess injuries and severity, and know which way to send them based on need. She’d conducted surgeries while listening to gunfire outside of a hospital. Nothing had rattled her calm professionalism.

Yet, when it came to her own situation, she simply wasn’t able to cope. She’d lived in war zones, yet she had never experienced war herself. She was being faced with a situation that a week ago would have seemed so fantastical she would’ve asked if it was the plot to a movie. It was no wonder she had no idea how to react to everything happening.

Shaun pushed herself off the hard, wooden pallet and stood on shaking legs. She walked unsteadily to the sink and turned the cold water tap on. She splashed her face and then cupped her hands and drank some of the water. She used her wet hands to smooth her hair back.

Feeling better, she went back to the pallet and sat down, curling her legs underneath her and leaning against the concrete wall. She took a good look around and shuddered.

The room was a square concrete box, approximately 10' x 10'. She was sure it was meant to hold prisoners. There were no windows except for the one in the door, which had bars in it. There was a single dull lightbulb swinging from the high ceiling. Too high for her to reach.

Shaun tried the door but found it locked. She decided she wasn't brave enough to call out and see if there were any guards on the other side of the door. She didn't know who would answer and the possibilities frightened her. What if Jozef was on the other side and she called him back? What if he finally put a bullet in her head this time? What if one of his cronies was on the other side? She was vulnerable, easily hurt. She didn't even know how to defend herself if she had to. She only knew how to run and so far, even that hadn't worked for her.

Far from being able to think of another plan to get herself out of the situation, Shaun was exhausted. Her long shopping trip, her sprint for freedom, her tense wait for Jozef with his aunt, being dragged down to this prison: it had all worked together to sap every ounce of energy from her. She lay on her side on the pallet and closed her eyes. She didn't think she would fall asleep, but at least she could rest.

Shaun counted her breaths, four beats in and seven out. She’d learned the technique in a mindfulness class that she had taken online. It actually helped her calm down. To release the stress from her body.

After several minutes of counting, Shaun drifted into sleep. When she woke again, she was confused and disoriented. She shoved herself up on the hard pallet, flinching from the stiffness in her joints. She squinted into the semidarkness and it finally dawned on her where she was. A prison.

A hand touched her shoulder and Shaun jumped, twisting around, bringing her hands up in defense. Lying next to her was Jozef.

"Wh – what are you doing here?" she stammered.

Her eyes travelled down his body where he was sprawled out, his hands tucked behind his head. He was alert and he didn't look tired. Shaun suspected that he came in to lie down with her but hadn't fallen asleep yet. Perhaps the jostling had woken her.

Rather than answer, he reached up, took hold of her arm and tugged her back down to his side. Shaun tried not to overthink it as she sank against Jozef, pressing her face to his hard chest and tucking her hands against him. The pallet was so narrow that she was forced to push herself flush against him. He didn't seem to mind.

Shaun lay in tense silence as his arm came around her body and his hand wrapped over her shoulder. When he made no other move to touch her, she allowed her eyes to droop. She began breathing and counting again, drawing his scent in through her nose and breathing it out through her mouth.

Her body flooded with tingles as she breathed him in. She tried to tell herself that there was no way she was attracted to her captor, but Shaun knew it was bullshit. She was a doctor; she was well aware of what her physiological responses to Jozef meant. Her body didn't care what her mind knew. Her body didn't care that she could die at any moment. It wanted Jozef.

Shaun drifted back into sleep, the warmth of Jozef's reassuring presence lulling her. When she woke up in the morning, he was still there, his arm around her shoulder and his gaze on her face. She smothered a yawn and wondered if he'd stayed awake or if he'd fallen asleep with her.

She pushed away from him and sat up. This time, instead of tugging her back down, he sat up with her, flexing his hands against the edge of the pallet and rolling his shoulders back until they cracked. He tipped his head to one side and then the other, cracking his neck.

Shaun had always hated the sounds of cracking bones and muscles. They reminded her too much of breaks and strains. Personally, she avoided the chiropractor like the plague, preferring to go to a massage therapist. She rolled her own shoulders back and winced as they cracked. Sleeping on a wooden pallet was not comfortable.

"You stayed with me," she ventured, glancing sideways at him where he was sitting next to her.

He didn't turn to look at her when he lifted his hands to make quick signs.You were shivering in your sleep and there are no blankets in here.

"You were worried I was cold?" she asked tentatively.

He didn't answer her question, but stood and signed,we should get back to the house.

Shaun's heart sank. She wanted to talk about what’d happened, find out what it meant. Why would he try to comfort her? Why put her in a cell at all if he hadn't really intended to punish her? It hadn’t been much of a punishment, since he'd provided her with everything she needed, including his own body heat. She was starting to think a night on a wooden pallet was a fair trade for an escape attempt. She’d probably do it again. She was positive this was not the point Jozef had been trying to make with her.

Shaun stood as well, but a wave of dizziness hit her. She had missed supper the evening before and slept deeply, using Jozef's warmth as a blanket. Now, her body was having trouble adjusting. Jozef reached out to steady her, his long fingers wrapping around her bicep.

"I'm okay," she murmured.

He nodded but slid his arm around her waist to escort her from the building. She allowed the familiarity, finding comfort in it.

As they made their way out to the garden, the intensely bright sun blinded her and she tripped over the threshold of the prison, nearly hitting the tiles on the other side. Jozef caught her and cradled her protectively in his arms. Shaun looked up at him and their gazes caught.

Everything about this man called to her. If only she’d met him in a normal way, maybe on the street... maybe if she'd come to Prague for a visit before going back home to Canada, she would've agreed to a date if he'd asked her. Maybe she would've asked him. She didn't know, but she knew that their connection was real and unshakable. She didn't think it was just the intense life-threatening moments that they'd shared, but something deeper. Like their souls met and knew each other, even if their earthly minds didn't understand the connection.

Jozef swung her up into his arms and held her close against his chest. Shaun clutched his shoulders and murmured a weak protest, telling him that she was okay to walk, that the sun had only blinded her for a few seconds. He ignored her though, continuing to stride through the garden and into the house. Shaun decided to relax and accept the ride.

Truth be told she was exhausted, both physically and mentally. Even after a long night of sleep, she still felt drained. A result of her time working on the front lines of the Ukrainian conflict, and of her kidnapping. Such heightened anxiety would definitely take a toll on the body. Though she was a doctor, she was no stranger to anxiety. She felt it every time she worked with Doctors without Borders. She believed in their mandate, believed in her work with them, but that belief didn't stop the fear every time she travelled to a war zone. Every time she risked her life to treat others.

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