Page 89 of Born a Queen

"But there would be a strain on your body. You only have one kidney and you’re still required to take immunosuppressants to make sure your body doesn’t reject the kidney, which means your health is always at risk. Even the flu can become deadly for someone like you. I won’t allow you to take that risk. It’s too great. I won’t allow your life to be shortened by even one day if I can do anything to help it."

Raina was too angry at him to absorb the sheer magnitude of what he was saying, what he was willing to do for her.

"That isn't your decision to make alone. We either make it together, our I will make it by myself."

"No, you won't." His voice was calm, but there was a thread of steel underlying it.

"And how exactly do you intend to stop nature?” she demanded sarcastically. "We haven't exactly been practicing safe sex. I could be pregnant already. What do you intend to do, have me abort the baby? I’ll tell you right now, that’s not going to happen. Or if you plan on forcing protection for the rest of my life, I'll go find the nearest fertility clinic."

Finally, he showed her a glimpse of anger, his eyes narrowing and his lips tightening. "You’re not pregnant and I will not be getting you pregnant. Nor will you be seeking out any fertility clinics. You won’t enjoy the consequences if I find you sniffing around one of those places, either now or in the future."

Raina huffed out a breath, rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't see how you intend to stop me from getting pregnant. We’ve had sex at least a dozen times now. In my estimation, given the time of month, I could easily be pregnant."

"No, you can't." His voice was so positive that it finally dawned on her that he knew something she didn't.

"Why do you sound so sure?"

He looked as though he didn't want to speak, as though he didn't want to devastate her with his words. Then he seemed to harden himself to her feelings and said, "Two years ago, after you left Venezuela and I realized that you were the only woman I would marry, I had a vasectomy. Even then I realized that it wouldn’t be possible for you to carry my child."

Raina was so stunned that she took several steps back, groping behind her for the chair and then collapsing into it. A vasectomy. She hadn't seen that coming. She didn't know of many men that would choose to have one at Mateo’s age. Especially a man that hadn’t fathered any children. She’d assumed he would want children.

Then it hit her. He wanted her more than he wanted a child of his own flesh and blood. This thought hammered home exactly how obsessed with her he had become.

Yet, despite his sacrifice, Raina wasn’t ready to process the heartbreak this meant for herself. Mateo would never let her go, would never allow her to seek out the opportunity of having a baby. He loved her too much. And if she was being honest with herself, she loved him too much to leave. But the truth that he just laid on her was shattering.

"I'll never have a baby." She looked up at him, tears shimmering in her eyes, catching a glimpse of his own grief before he shuttered the emotion.

Mateo kneeled at her feet, lifted her hand and kissed the palm. Wordlessly he stood, gave her a long look and then left the room.

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