Page 76 of Born a Queen

Chapter Forty-One

Raina watched dismally as her things were moved from her old room into Mateo's room. She was sitting on her soon-to-be old bed with her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed as the men moved everything out. They attempted to get her to come to Mateo’s room and tell them where to put it all.

She bit her lip so that she wouldn't reply with, "Up your ass". It wasn't their fault that she and Mateo were fighting.

Fighting felt like such a weak word for what was happening between them. More like a catastrophic shift in their relationship. Raina was more confused than ever about what she felt for Mateo. True to his word, he hadn't touched her during the night. They had lain side by side, neither of them sleeping for a long time. She hadn't been afraid of him, not exactly. Even though he hurt her, she still trusted him when he told her that he wouldn't touch her.

But the fact that he had hurt her at all, deliberately and mercilessly, told her that he could do it again. And that was where most of her confusion came from. She wasn't going to delude or lie to herself; she was in love with Mateo, had been in love with him for years. He was a hard man to resist. He was devoted to her health, safety and comfort.

But the problem was the order of his priorities. Mateo would always put her health and safety above her comfort. Yet, Raina would argue that a person needed happiness for survival as much as they needed the basics.

That morning, she had woken up tucked against his side, her back to him, her butt pressed against his hip. Her hands had been underneath her head as though she had curled up against him in her sleep, seeking warmth. She didn't move; didn't want to move. In fact, she wanted to roll over against him and watch him as he slept, but she didn't. She still couldn't deal with her emotions over what happened.

They had sex. No, not sex. Sex was consensual. Mateo had attacked her, and she’d been forced to take it. And much to her shame, her body had betrayed her during the ordeal. Realistically, she knew that women were capable of orgasming under extreme circumstances but knowing that and feeling it were two different things.

Mateo had demonstrated to her, with his actions, how different their worlds were. Raina wanted love, respect and a marriage built on a foundation of equality and mutual caring. She didn't want a husband who would lay down the law, force her compliance and treat her like a prisoner if she dared to voice her dissent.

But Mateo inhabited the world of organized crime. A place where the rules were different. Raina would be naïve not to pay attention to that world; to assume that she wasn't a part of it because she didn't want to be.

The fact was, Raina was born to the mafia. She didn't have a choice. She'd never had a choice. That was why Sotza had ordered Mateo to pick her up two years ago, to bring her to Venezuela to meet her birth mother.

Now, like it or not, Raina was firmly entrenched in Mateo’s world. It was a depressing thought; one she didn't want to linger on. She pushed herself off the bed and stood, then headed for the door. She nearly ran into one of the bodyguards coming in for another load.

"Excuse me," he said politely and then went around her. He lifted Raina’s makeup table in one arm as though it weighed nothing.

Mateo had told her that morning that he wanted her permanently moved into his room. He didn't want her thinking that she could escape back into her old room, pushing him out. He had informed her that her things would be moved over and that she didn't have a choice.

She had informed him that he could go fuck himself. She’d had the pleasure of watching his body tighten in annoyance, but he left without saying a word, denying her the fight she so richly wanted. The scratches visible on his face from their fight in the bunker would have to suffice her thirst for vengeance.

Raina went in search of Danny, hoping he would agree to take her shopping. She didn't really need to go shopping, nor did she have a strong desire for it, but she wanted to get out of the house. She couldn't sit there and watch as all her things were moved into Mateo's room.

Raina knocked on the door of the security office. A feminine voice told her to come in.

"Hey Angela." Raina tried to sound more upbeat than she felt. "Danny around?"

Angela shook her head and leaned back in her chair. "Nope. Mateo asked Danny to join him for the day. Mateo wants to reach out to some of Vee’s old connections and thought Danny would be able to help."

"Oh." With all the turmoil of the past few days, Raina had forgotten that Mateo had a big job to do in Miami.

A tiny part of her forgave him for his actions of the day before. Not only was he trying to establish the boundaries of their relationship, but he was under a great deal of stress. He was taking over one of the most important underground international hub cities in the world. The job was dangerous, though she had no doubt he would succeed. She couldn’t imagine a world where Mateo didn’t get exactly what he wanted. He wouldn’t allow it.

"Did they take any bodyguards with them?" Raina asked, worried for Mateo’s safety.

Angela smirked at her, as though she thought Raina's concern was cute. "You do know that both Mateo and Danny acted as bodyguards in a professional capacity, right? Danny was Vee’s bodyguard for years, even before she became a boss, and Mateo has been Sotza’s protection for more than two decades. They can take care of themselves."

Raina huffed. "I know, I know. I guess I just worry more now. Especially since I’m more informed about the inner workings here."

It was true. No one was attempting to sugarcoat Raina's new existence. She wondered if it was a group effort to keep her informed for her own safety. If she knew how bad things could get, then she might be less likely to place herself in harmful situations. Angela more than the others gave Raina the bald truth every time. Raina was grateful for that.

Angela seemed to take pity on her. "You don't have to worry about them. Not only are they capable of taking care of themselves, but they also took several men with them. I don't think they were doing anything particularly dangerous, but these days they seem to be taking back-up everywhere. They’re protected and the house is like Fort Knox. We're all in good shape."

Raina smiled. "Thanks for the reassurance."

"No problem, chica,” Angela said, putting a foot up on the desk. "What can I help you with? You came in here looking for Danny. What did you need him for?"

Raina shrugged. "Nothing much, I wanted to get out of the house for a few hours. I was hoping he would take me shopping. But it's not a big deal, I can go another time."

Angela pushed herself away from the desk and got to her feet. "I'll take you. I can use a timeout from the desk. Who knew house security would involve so much paperwork? We’ll grab a couple of the guys, eat some lunch and hit up the South Beach shopping. You haven't had a chance to check it out yet, have you? I've been dying to get over there myself, but Mateo’s been keeping me busy."

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