Page 7 of Mine to Keep

He gave her a little shove and rolled away from her onto his back, pushing a frustrated hand through his thick hair. She shivered and turned her head slightly to peek at him. He looked really disappointed. His muscles were tense and huge against the feminine fabric of her flowery bedspread. The veins on his arms popped as he rubbed his face and head. She shuddered and glanced down his body, noting the way his gym shorts remained tented in anticipation. No wonder he was so pissed at her. Veronica’s desire may have waned, but his was still raging on.

Guilt and a tiny bit of fear prompted her to push up onto her knees, drawing his gaze to her nude torso. She wanted to cross her arms over her breasts, but she forced them to remain down. Clenching her fingers in the fabric of the blanket, she kept her eyes on his stomach. It was a beautiful stomach, honed to perfection by hours of weight lifting and workouts. Probably the best man-belly she’d ever seen in real life. Like Magic Mike up close and personal in her bed. Which was a shame because it was the last time she’d ever see Robert’s stomach without a shirt on, she told herself.

His razor-sharp eyes watched her every move as she forced herself to inch a little closer to him, sliding her knees along the faux satiny fabric. A deep wrinkle formed between his eyes. She licked her lips and darted a look up at him. She touched his leg on top of his shorts and then boldly ran her fingertips up his thigh. His leg jerked under her light touch and his hands fisted against the frilly purple pillow next to his head. She stopped moving and shot another look toward the muscles bulging in his biceps. They were as big as her head.

Veronica reminded herself that Robert was different, that he would never hurt her. That she was just going to help him out this once and then never lead him on again. She would wear full coverage at all times and live in her bedroom until he was gone from her life. She couldn’t handle the emotions he drew from her. The memories he brought up. The shame she thought she buried.

She forced herself to go the last few inches and close her hand around the thing that demanded her attention. It was so big! Her hand barely fit around him and the length was just as intimidating. She’d been with more men than she could count and she was pretty certain none came close to this man in size. She was probably making the best decision for both of them anyway. With their difference in size and her seventeen or so year dry spell, she was pretty certain the sex would’ve been bad. So very, very bad.

Her heart fluttered in panic and she decided to just get it over with. She already felt the old emotions welling up: guilt, shame, disgust. He growled as her small hand wrapped around him, caressing him through the gym shorts and stroking his length. She leaned toward him, breathing deeply and reaching for the edge of his shorts at the same time, intent on pulling them down over his erection.

Her cheek caressed the tip of his hot penis through the shorts and her hand skimmed his stomach just as his hands came down almost violently on top of her, one on her head and one on her hand. She gasped, her eyes flying up to his. The hand on her head clenched in her hair, gripping her, holding her. She could see something in his eyes. Something violent and feral. The breath caught in her chest as she watched him war with himself. The need to help her yank his shorts down and shove himself deep into her willing throat clashed with the man that knew he was there to protect her. The man that deep down knew she was conflicted and hurt, even if he didn’t understand how or why.

“Fuck!” he snarled, tendons in his throat working while a vein on his forehead throbbed.

Her eyes widened in fear and she bit her lip, letting her breath out. It slipped out across the broad crown of his cock. His hips jerked up at the same time he used his grip on her hair to pull her away from him. Her shoulders slumped as she realized which side of Robert had won. Though she was happy she wouldn’t have to deal with her own awful emotional state, a small part of her wanted to feel him in her. To take him in her mouth and make him feel good.

“What are you doing?” he growled, gripping her hair and shaking her a little. “Mixed messages, don’t you think? One minute hot, then cold. Now, what? Hot again?” he asked, shoving her back until she was sitting up. He sat up with her and moved his hands to her shoulders, his eyes studying her face intently. “Except you aren’t, are you? You’re still cold. You mind telling me what the fuck that was all about? You were just going to suck my cock for the hell of it?”

She flinched at his crude language then huffed at herself a little. She used to sell herself on the streets in Hastings. It didn’t get much worse than that. She could handle a little bad language from a man suffering from blue balls. She wasn’t that delicate just because she lived like a hermit most of the time these days.

She wrapped her arms around herself and dropped her eyes. He let her shoulders go and gave her some space. “I… just wanted to make you feel good, okay?” she whispered. “A-after I decided I didn’t want to have sex. I didn’t think it was fair to just leave you that way.”

He grimaced and rolled off the side of the bed, standing up and staring down at her. “So, you decided to give me a pity blowjob?” he asked, his voice hard.

She cringed. There it was. Disgust.

She frowned up at him. “It wasn’t like that, Robert,” she said defensively. “I-I’m just not capable of giving you what you want.”

“And what exactly do you think I want?” he demanded bluntly.

She grabbed a pillow and smashed it against her bare breasts as agitation took hold. “You want sex!” she snapped.

He stared down at her, his eyes impossible to read. Finally, he sighed heavily and reached for his T-shirt, which had fallen next to the bed. She sneaked a peek at his perfect ass as he bent over and then berated herself for checking out the guy she couldn’t have. After he pulled it on, he turned toward her dresser and began rummaging through the third drawer. Her jaw dropped in astonishment as he pulled out a grey sweatshirt and tossed it at her. Apparently, he hadn’t just wandered into her room while she was showering, but gone through and cataloged each item. She decided she was super glad she didn’t own a vibrator. Then she remembered the sexy nighties in the top drawer she bought to occasionally treat herself and wished, once again, the bed would catch on fire.

He didn’t seem to notice her embarrassment as she pulled the sweater over her head and pushed the pillow away. When she was done, he sat on the edge of the bed and gave her a firm look.

“I don’t want sex from you,” he told her, his deep voice serious.

She frowned in confusion. “It really seemed that way, Robert.”

He cleared his throat. “Okay, I’ll rephrase that. I don’t just want sex. You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman. I’ve spent two and a half days with you and there isn’t a single thing about you that I find annoying.”

He frowned as though this was a first for him and then he confirmed her thought. “I usually can’t wait to get out of a woman’s bed and away from her before she gets clingy. Never thought I’d want more. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve spent the entire night in a woman’s bed, yet every night I’m here I want nothing more than to crawl into yours. I’m old enough now that I don’t fuck around much and when I see something I want, I go after it. When I see someone I want, long term, I damn sure know it.”

Veronica stared at him, her jaw dropping in surprise. She had no idea he was thinking… long term. Holy. Crap. She felt suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to call her daughter. Of course, she couldn’t burden Allie, away at university, with her problems.

She didn’t know what to say. Except… “I’m a vegetarian, I thought you hated that?”

He flashed a toothy grin that just about knocked her off the bed. It transformed him from frighteningly rugged to drop-dead gorgeous. “Normally I’d despise that pretentious shit in a woman, but on you, it’s fucking cute.”

She sat for a minute with her mouth open, just staring at him. This crazy, Harley driving, security guy was acting like he’d fallen in love with her in three days. That simply wasn’t possible. “But you don’t even know me,” she whispered.

“You don’t get it,” he told her, his hazel eyes held her captive. “I want to know everything about you.”

She dropped her gaze as tears stung behind her eyelids. She took a couple of deep breaths and clenched her fingers around the sleeves of her sweatshirt. She never wanted him to stop looking at her the way he was right now. Like she was utterly precious to him. Something to be loved and protected. It had been just her, Allie and Jay for so long that she didn’t know what it felt like to let someone else into her heart. It hurt… but it also felt kind of amazing.

Now she was going to having to shatter his illusions about her. Because she wouldn’t live a lie. Not with a man like Robert Senator. He was too good for someone like her. She glanced at the digital clock on her bedside table and murmured, “You want to get to know the real me? Be ready to go out in four hours.”

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