Page 9 of The Oni's Heart

But I wasn’t fine. And I knew it.

I tried to calm my racing thoughts.Okay, just one more. One more shop. You can do it.

I looked down the street, where a small gift shop stood, its window filled with trinkets and hand-crafted knick-knacks. Maybe they would need someone. Maybe it wasn’t so hopeless. I was already dressed in the nature of a typical foreigner, wouldn’t that make visitors feel more welcome?

I wasn’t sure if I was lying to myself, but I pushed myself forward anyway, dragging my feet, trying to fight the frustration clawing at me.

The bell above the door jingled as I entered, and I was greeted by a middle-aged woman who looked at me with a polite but reserved expression.

“Hello,” she said, barely glancing up from her counter as she arranged some small ceramic statues. “Can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you’re hiring,” I asked again, trying not to let the desperation in my voice show. “I can do anything, really. I’m willing to start with whatever you need. I don’t have much experience, but I’m a fast learner.”

Her eyes skimmed over me, blatantly evaluating whether I was worth her time. Her hands stopped moving for a moment, and there was a pause.

“No, sorry,” she said, her voice flat and disinterested. “We’re fully staffed.”

I stared at her for a moment, feeling like I’d been punched in the gut. It wasn’t that I expected her to drop everything and hire me on the spot, but the quickness with which she turned me away, without even offering me a second thought was another blow I wasn’t ready for.

“Right,” I said, trying to force a smile, but it felt too tight. “Thanks for your time.”

I turned and walked out, this time not even bothering to hide the frustration in my steps. My mind was buzzing with anger, self-doubt, and a gnawing sense of rejection that was starting to swallow me whole. I could feel the tears threatening to rise in my throat, but I refused to let them show.

I didn’t care.

I can do this. I’ll just keep going. I’ll find something. I will. I have to. You don’t have to go back to the darkness.

With my head down and fists clenched, I stormed onto the street, running right into someone.

Someone who smelled familiar.

I barely registered his figure until I had already knocked into him, my body jerking back as I tried to steady myself. I glanced up, expecting the usual serene, calm expression. But there was a hint of surprise in his eyes as he steadied me with his hands.

The monk.

“Sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t see you there.”

I didn’t have time for him, not now. Not with everything boiling inside me.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should start paying attention,” I snapped, the words flying out before I could stop them.

His calm expression didn’t falter, but his eyes softened just a little. “Are you okay?”

I scoffed, my frustration spilling out in a way I couldn't control. “Yeah, I’m just great. Perfect, actually. Another rejection. Another dead-end job search. You know, the usual.”

He didn’t pull away, didn’t step back, just stood there, quiet and patient, his expression unreadable. But there was something in his eyes—an understanding, a patience—that made me want to scream even more.

Why would someone as untainted as him need to worry about anything I was going through? The temple likely provided everything he needed—food, shelter, support—through offerings. He had no reason to understand, no reason to care about the mess that was my life.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said, his voice calm, almost too calm, akin to speaking to a child throwing a tantrum.

“Well, maybe you should stop asking dumb questions, then!” I shot back, my words sharp and biting. It wasn’t even about him anymore; I was pissed at everything, at the world, at myself. And he was standing there as if he could just fix it all with a couple of kind words.How naive.

His expression didn’t change, not even a little. He just kept looking at me with that steady gaze, and something about it made my skin crawl. He didn't react to me. Unfazed by my anger, making me feel even worse. Like I was the one out of control, the one who wastoo much.

“I’m not trying to upset you,” he said, softer this time, but still firm. “I’m just trying to understand.”

I felt my temper flare even higher.Understand?“You don’t need to understand anything about me!” I nearly spat the words at him. “I don’t need your help or your sympathy, alright? Just leave me the hell alone.”

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