Page 67 of X'nath

I frowned, a headache forming from the riddles that left me with more questions than answers. "She hasn’t lost me, Korrin."

Korrin looked at me then, his eyes full of understanding. "Perhaps it's not about you. She carries the familiar shadows of one that has lost. The fear of losing someone again... It’s a heavy burden. When a woman like that takes on a new mate, she doesn’t just take on the future. She’s carrying the weight of all the losses that came before. The fear, the uncertainty, it doesn’t just go away."

His words struck me with the force of a blow I hadn’t been prepared for. It was as if he spoke from his own wounds, haunted by the very shadows he described. Gracie had never shared the details of her past, but I knew it had been a hard one. After all, how else could she have ended up on a slave ship? Was that the root of her anger?

"You’re saying... she’s afraid of losing me?" I asked, the weight of it sinking in.

Korrin nodded slowly. "She’s afraid of a lot more than that. She’s afraid that if she lets herself love you fully, she might have to watch you walk away, or worse... lose you, too."

I stood there for what felt like an eternity, the truth sinking into my chest like a heavy stone. I had thought Gracie’s anger was something I could fix, but now I realized it ran deeper—older wounds that needed time and space to heal. I wasn’t the one to blame, yet I knew the only way to break through her defenses might be to grovel, to lower myself even if I hadn’t done anything wrong. How else could I reach her? How else could I get past the walls she’d built around herself?

In my time with Gracie, I’d learned a lot about laying down my pride—something I never thought I’d be able to do. She had a way of breaking through my walls, teaching me that sometimes, it wasn’t about being right. It was about being there. Now, it seemed like that lesson would be put to the ultimate test.

A thought suddenly sparked in my mind, clear and sharp—a plan forming in the space between my frustration and my longing. I watched Korrin, his eyes softening as he observed Salma, tending to the garden in quiet solitude. There was something in the way he looked at her, something that made me realize how much Gracie valued being seen, truly seen, as an equal. It wasn’t just about words—it was about actions.

I turned back to Korrin, giving him a nod before walking away to leave him with his quiet observation of Salma.

Yargol squeaked beside my ankles, as if urging me to explain my plan. I glanced down at him and smirked. “Not to worry, Yargol. I think I’ve got it figured out.”

40

Patrolling the Heart

X’NATH

Ididn’t give up.

Even with her constant refusals to talk to me, I kept trying. It frustrated me that she’d accept a flower from Yargol, but nothing from me. How did that little furball manage it?

I stuck to my usual routine, still doing the little things for her—bringing fresh cut firewood, hanging large strips of meat from a recent hunt. When her eyes widened in surprise at seeing me, I thought maybe, just maybe, I was starting to get through to her. But before I could savor the moment, she turned on her heel and retreated into her home, hiding away for the next hour.

It never bothered her before when I completed the task during the early hours before my duties. Why was she reacting like this now? It only added to the confusion.

But I wasn’t ready to give up. I stayed, waiting patiently outside her door, watching for when she would finally come out.

When she finally stepped outside, I didn’t hesitate. I fell into step behind her, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Gracie, please,” I said, my voice rough. “I know I messed up. I wasn’t thinking. I?—”

She didn’t slow her pace, her steps steady and deliberate. I tried to match her, falling into a rhythm that felt more like chasing than walking beside her.

“I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just…” My words tangled in my throat, each one coming out more clumsy than the last.

I couldn’t tell her the truth—that I didn’t regret what I’d done to Garbock. He still hadn’t shown his face around the village, probably hiding away to lick his wounds after the mess I made of him. He should be grateful he was still alive. His pride was the only thing that needed mending.

If I ever saw him near Gracie again, I wouldn’t hesitate. I would make sure my face was the last thing he saw before he breathed his last. But I couldn’t say any of that, not now. Not when it wasn’t about him—it was about me and her, and how badly I’d messed things up.

“I’m an idiot, Gracie. Please don’t—don’t shut me out. I never wanted to make you feel like you weren’t important?—”

She didn’t look at me, but I saw the faint tension in her shoulders, the way she tightened her grip on her basket as she made her way toward one of the communal gardens. I could feel her pulling away, even if she didn’t say a word.

“Please,” I pressed, desperation slipping through my voice. “I’ll do whatever it takes. You mean everything to me. If you need me to kill someone, I will. If you need me to crawl on hands and knees—” I swallowed deeply, hoping to bury my wounded pride well beneath the earth, “I will.”

She stopped abruptly, but only to adjust the basket handle on her shoulders. I froze, holding my breath, hoping she’d say something, anything. But when she didn’t, I pushed forward again, like a fool, begging with the only words I had left.

“Lak’osh,I am at your mercy,” I told her, falling to my knees and unsheathing one of my knives. “I offer you my blade to run through my heart if that’s what it takes.”

She spun around suddenly, her eyes flashing with annoyance, but there was something else there too—something I couldn’t quite place. "X’nath," she cut me off, her voice cold and sharp. "Will you stop following me like some lost puppy? It’s getting embarrassing."

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