Page 39 of X'nath

Stepping back into my home, I felt the weight of his gaze lingering like a physical touch. I shouldn’t have wanted it theway I did. I didn’t deserve it. I closed the door, leaning against it, chest heaving with a chaotic storm of emotions. The shadows inside my mind began to swirl again every time I felt the faintest glimmer of hope, and I wrapped my arms around myself, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.

How could I even consider the possibility of something more with him? He was young, cocky, and completely oblivious to the complexities of my scars. I had fought too hard to let someone in again, and now, facing my past felt like an endless battle.

“What are you doing?” I whispered to myself, the weight of my own thoughts suffocating. “You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.”

I took a deep breath, forcing the turmoil back down, pushing against the rising tide of emotion. “Focus,” I told myself firmly. “You have work to do. Prove you can survive, that you are worth something.”

And with that, I settled back onto my bed, trying to silence the echoes of my past, determined to forge a future that belonged only to me. But even as I closed my eyes, the ghost of X’nath’s concern lingered, a reminder that perhaps, just perhaps, I didn’t have to face this battle alone. But I wouldn’t let myself believe that. Not yet.

23

Acts of Kindness

GRACIE

The early morning light filtered through the trees, casting dappled patterns on the ground. I stepped out of the house, still groggy from a restless night. The air was crisp, fresh with the scent of the trees and earth around us. My heart sank as I surveyed the camp; it had been a whirlwind of adjustment since our arrival and strange interactions, and I still felt like an outsider.

But something was different today. I noticed the pile of chopped wood stacked neatly near the side of the house, the logs perfectly arranged, as if someone had taken their time to do it right. I knelt beside it, running my fingers over the smooth bark, my mind racing. Who could have done this? The orc men were often busy hunting or training, and the thought of one of them taking the time to help us was both perplexing and oddly comforting.

As I stood, I spotted a few more things that made my heart skip—fresh meat, skinned and prepared, resting beside the wood. Gifts. Someone was leaving us food, and I felt a swell of gratitude mixed with curiosity.

“Did you get any more rest last night, Gracie—Oh, what do we have here?” Came Erin’s voice.

“I don’t know. I woke up and it was here.” Turning to Erin, I looked at her questioningly. “Did you and Karg make up last night?”

“Not that I know of,” she said, scratching her head. “Unless we made up while I was asleep.”

The orcs I’d met so far were often brash and full of bravado. They were not known for their subtlety. Did Erin get a new suitor?

I looked around, searching the faces of the orc men currently milling about close to our communal home. Many were older, their skin lined with age and experience. A few had grizzled beards that spoke of wisdom and war stories, but most of them were beyond the age I imagined for courting. My stomach turned slightly at the thought of one of them being our secret benefactor.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the gaze of one particularly older orc. He had a thick, white beard and deep-set eyes that sparkled with mischief. I felt an involuntary cringe as he caught my eye and winked, a gesture that felt both friendly and entirely unsettling. Was he the one leaving the gifts? The idea made my skin crawl, and I quickly looked away, pretending to be focused on gathering the wood.

"Ugh," I muttered under my breath, shaking my head at the absurdity of it all. “As if I needed that visual.” I began stacking the wood in the fire pit inside our home, trying to ignore the thought of the bearded orc watching me.

The other women were starting to emerge from their homes with their mates, groggy and stretching, their eyes widening as they spotted the pile of food and wood by us. I could see the mix of confusion and gratitude reflected in their expressions.

Sophie, after giving Greag a kiss and sending him off, was the first to come by with wide eyes. “Wow. One of you girls really caught someone’s eyes. Who do you think is leaving this stuff?”

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “No idea. Maybe one of the older guys is trying to play knight in shining armor.”

Kelly chuckled, her eyes darting toward the bearded orc who was still watching me. “More like a knight in a rusty breastplate,” she quipped, and we all shared a laugh, the tension lifting momentarily.

But as I went about preparing the morning fire, my mind wandered back to the gifts. It was kind, yes, but it also felt like a strange game. Who was it meant for? Me or Erin? Was it simply an act of goodwill, or was there a motive behind it? My instincts told me that kindness from the orcs was not as straightforward as it appeared.

As the fire crackled to life, I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the nagging thoughts. Perhaps this was their way of thanking me for what happened the other day. But that also didn’t make any logical sense since X’nath also fought the monster. Was this a bizarre form of courtship? Still, the idea of being courted by one of the older orcs made my nose scrunch in distaste.

I decided I wouldn’t let my curiosity get the better of me. I focused on the practicalities of our daily routine. As the sun climbed higher in the sky, I gathered the meat and wood, trying my hand at dehydrating some and perhaps turning it into jerky for a snack.

“Let’s make the most of this,” I said to Erin and the girls who were still visiting. “We can cook and prepare a feast for the clan tonight. We’ll show them we can contribute, too, and that we’re not just takers.”

Erin raised an eyebrow and gave me a mischievous grin. “You mean you’re not just trying to impress X’nath with your cooking skills? Everyone sees the way he looks at you.”

I rolled my eyes, but my cheeks betrayed me as they heated up. “Please. I’m not trying to impress anyone, least of all him.”

Sophie, who had been quietly gathering herbs in the corner, let out a laugh. “Sure, Gracie. You keep telling yourself that while you blush every time he looks your way.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to appear unbothered. “I’m just trying to make sure we don’t starve. Nothing more, nothing less. Sharing is caring and all that.”

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