Page 38 of Bound and Blitzed

“I’d like to share the findings in ways that are engaging and fun for the general public. It’s why I’m starting some informational sessions at Ijams Nature Center,” I share.

“Oh! I love it there. I take Stella sometimes just for walks and to look at the butterflies and birds,” Nova says. “Send me the info for your sessions and we’ll pass by.”

“That’d be great,” I say enthusiastically. Save for Abuela and Avery, I’ve never had anyone appear so interested in my work before. My family never cared much, and I don’t have friends outside of my academic circles. Since I’ve come to the US, I haven’t really made connections in my department either. I really should join the group for lunch or a happy hour. Sitting here with Leni and Nova makes me realize just how cut off I’ve become from social interactions.

“Here.” Leni pulls out her phone. “Let’s swap numbers.”

“Okay.” I rattle off my digits and the women message me with their numbers. I can’t help but smile when I see their texts pop up on my screen. It feels nice to make friends, even if it’s only because of Avery. Even if I have to forfeit these new relationships once we divorce.

I bite my bottom lip, hating that the demise of my marriage is hanging over my head.

“I’ve gotta get back,” Nova says, pushing away from the table.

“I’m walking that way too,” Leni says, standing as well. “It was so good to chat with you, Valentina.”

“You too. Thanks for including me—us, for the party,” I say sincerely.

“Of course!” Nova flicks her wrist. “See you soon.”

“See you.” I wave good-bye as the women leave the coffee shop.

Then, I finish my mocha, take one last look around, and step back on to the street. A winter wonderland wraps around me, and I spend the remainder of the afternoon wandering in and out of boutiques, purchasing a few Christmas gifts, and soaking up the afternoon.

I feel more centered than I have in weeks. When I arrive home in the evening, I video-call Abuela.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” she answers, speaking in Spanish. Her eyes are narrowed. “And you look sick. Are you ill?”

I sigh. “No.” Tears well in my eyes.

“What’s wrong,mi tesoro?”My treasure.

Her love makes the moisture in my eyes spill over into fresh tears. “Abuelita, I did something,” I admit.

She arches an eyebrow, a puff of laughter sounding. “Really? What did you do?” She shakes her head, not believing me. “You’re too hard on yourself, Vale, you?—”

“I got married,” I blurt out the truth, confiding in her before anyone else in my family.

The news renders her speechless and she rears back, as if my words physically jarred her. I suppose they did. “Married? To whom?”

I blink rapidly and drag the back of my sleeve over my eyes. “His name is Avery Callaway. He’s an American football player. And?—”

“Do you love him?” She cuts me off, peering at me with eyes that see too much.

My heart twists painfully and I gulp air. My God, what is Abuela going to think of me? “I…I care about him greatly. It was a whirlwind,” I admit. “I was caught up in the moment and…” I trail off, blowing out a breath.

“Why are you crying?” Abuela asks, taking this much calmer than I anticipated.

“Because…” I pause, trying to put my feelings into words. “Because I miss him,” I admit. “He’s so busy and I’m so busy and I never see him. Mamá and Papá don’t know, and I’m scared to tell them. I haven’t even told Carla and Ale. It feels like I’m living this giant lie.”

“Are you?” she shoots back, her lips pursed.

Yes!I want to cry out. But I can’t admit the marriage is fake. I just…can’t.

At my silence, Abuela sighs heavily.

“Valentina, you do not make impulsive decisions.”

“I know,” I nearly wail.

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