Page 51 of Bound and Blitzed

Silence stretches between us as I gather my thoughts.

“Listen, Lena, if this is about last night?—”

“It is,” I interject, nodding.

Avery grasps the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. “I’m sorry if I?—”

“You didn’t,” I cut him off again. God, I just need to get this out. Come clean, admit the truth, move on.

The problem is, I’ve never told anyone about Dane. Not even my sister.

I suck in another breath. “I want to tell you something I’ve never told anyone, something I’ve never even said out loud before,” I start.

Avery sits straighter in his chair. His gray eyes flash, a foreboding storm gathering on the horizon.

“Last night, I freaked out,” I admit, offering a shrug. “I…I’ve only ever been with one guy. Ever.”

Avery’s eyes widen and he pulls in a breath. His eyes track over my expression, as if searching for clues, but he doesn’t say anything.

I continue. “I was fifteen and?—”

His eyes fall closed, and he brings his fist to his mouth. I note the defeat that flashes across his face.

“No, it wasn’t…I wasn’t taken advantage of or anything.” I pause, rethinking everything that transpired between Dane and me. “Well, maybe I was but not the way you think.”

“Lena, please, were you hurt?”

“Not physically,” I whisper.

Avery shifts forward, his feet planted on the ground now, his elbows resting on his knees. “What happened?”

“I was dating this guy. I use the termdatingloosely. He was one of Ale’s teammates and we were sneaking around. Keeping things quiet until we told my brother. He was my first and I…” I blush at the reminders of myself at that age. “I was caught up in him. Like madly, wildly, head over heels. I lied to my parents and Carla to see him. I started sneaking around, dressing differently, anything to make him want to be with me.”

Avery works a swallow. “You were fifteen.”

“Nearly sixteen.”

“How old was he?”

“Nineteen.”

Avery doesn’t comment but his face hardens. A tick pops in his jawline. He stares at me to continue.

“I thought we were really together, you know? Like boyfriend and girlfriend. I thought he was it for me.” I shake my head. “I was stupid.”

“No, you weren’t. He was a fucking predator.”

“No.” I shake my head, recalling Dane’s blond curls and playful blue eyes. “He wasn’t…I mean, he was young too. We were getting ready to tell my brother. My family. He kept saying just one more week, after the next big game, excuses. And then, one night, Ale was having friends over and he showed up with a girl. A beautiful, blond girl who was obviously older than me. She was mature and sophisticated. And when he introduced her, he called her his girl. She sat on his lap with my brother and all their friends around them. And…” God the next part makes me cringe. “As I was crying in the bathroom, feeling like my heart broke, she walked in. And when she saw me, she was so nice. She offered me one of her lip glosses. She didn’t even know why I was crying but she correctly assumed it was about a boy. And she said, ‘Never give them the satisfaction of knowing they hurt you.’ It was good advice really, but at that moment it gutted me.” The memories of that night cut through my mind with a vividness that surprises me. The events are so clear, so sharp, I feel their effects twist my stomach and pierce my chest.

“He was playing you,” Avery mutters, disgusted.

“Yes.”

Avery nods to himself. And then, he looks right at me, his eyes alert, almost wild. “Who was it? Who is he?”

I feel the blood drain from my face. I was so caught up in recounting my story, I forgot that he’d want a name. Of course he would!

I stall. “I don’t want anyone to know.”

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