Page 43 of Out to Find Freedom

It was after some time, after I sat there wallowing for being a coward and regretting acting the way I had, that I offered, “I’m sorry.”

Someone grunted.

Killer, who’d been standing beside me, eyes into the living room, glanced down at me. “What’d I say about sayin’ sorry?”

Drawing in a shuddering breath, I said, “Not to.”

“Damn right. You just stay there and relax, yeah?”

I nodded, unsure who we were waiting for, but I had the need to stand and look at Ryan. I hadn’t seen him up close, with his eyes actually on me, but then I was scared with how he would take me in. I looked like I’d crawled from the sewers. I probably even smelled like it. Shame had me staying where I was.

My body jolted when there was a knock. I didn’t hear anyone move, but I heard the door open and then, “Hello, my hunky men. I’m here ready for duty. Where do you want me? And someone please say the bedroom.”

Someone cursed, there was a groan, and I saw Killer looking at the floor, clenching his teeth, and shaking his head. Who was the man who could say something like that to burly men and get away with it?

“Julian, just get over there,” Ryan said.

“Oh, I get it. You want to watch me walk. Some foreplay first,” he teased, his voice coming closer my way. “I like the way you think. Why I bet—why, hello there, my dove.” The man in jeans and a polo tee got to his knees at the end of the couch. His smile was warm, just like his eyes. “My name’s Julian. I’m a friend of these divine creatures….”

I knew right away why they called Julian in. Already my shoulders eased and my stomach unclenched. His smile was infectious. I wanted to smile with him, yet I didn’t. The man felt like sunshine on a cold, miserable day.

“Emerson,” I said.

“Emerson.” His smile grew. “Such a pretty name for a cutie pie. How about I find you a shower and a change of clothes. Then we can have a chat with the sexy cop over there.” I glanced the way he thumbed, but all I saw was the couch.

A shower sounded amazing though. But I hated the thought of making the police officer wait more than he already had.

“I’ve wasted time. I should—”

His hand shot up. I flinched, and his smile dimmed a little. He lowered his hand to his thigh. “Don’t you worry about the men here. They won’t care about waiting until you have a nice warm shower.”

Did that mean I did stink?

My cheeks warmed. “Okay,” I said meekly. I dipped my eyes down to the floor. Julian’s hand slowly came into view. I pulled my head up. He tapped my hand.

“Let’s get you upstairs.”

It meant standing. It meant walking by Ryan and the officer, Lan. It meant going near and then up the stairs. The ones where I knew Mrs Minna’s body had been.

But moving meant living. It meant being strong and finding who I used to be again.

Maybe with a shower, a real shower after years, I could get one step closer to me.

I slid my hand in his. Julian’s smile softened. He stood and gently pulled me up with him. I made sure my thighs were covered. I wasn’t strong yet, so I kept my eyes on the floor as Julian led me towards the stairs.

My hand gripped Julian’s tightly. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, my eyes watered, I sucked in a harsh breath, but I kept going. I kept moving and stopped myself from thinking of Mrs Minna.

Before we reached the second-floor landing, Julian called down, “Do one of you handsome men want to find some clothes for my dove?”

“I-I have clothes next door.”

His lips thinned for a fraction of a second, and I had a feeling he’d somehow seen my clothes next door in the basement.

“Don’t you stress, pet. They’ll find something.” He tucked my hand into his elbow and patted it. “Let’s conquer this shower, get you all toasty and warm.” He walked us into a bathroom that was down a hall, off a sitting area at the top of the stairs. His hands dropped away when he went over to the shower and turned on the water. “You know, I prefer a bath, but my man loves his showers.”

“Your man?” I blurted. I should have guessed he was gay; he was very flamboyant, but I didn’t want to presume and be wrong.

“Oh yes, honey. He’s my one and only. Even though I tease him greatly about the other men we hang out with, I’m devoted to my poppet. Besides, a little jealousy spices up the bedroom, if you know what I mean?”

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