Page 68 of Out to Find Freedom

Ryan stepped into the room and it suddenly felt smaller. He closed the door and took another step my way. I took one back.

“That was my friend Mally. Her man was right there with us.”

I laughed without humour. “Why are you telling me this?”

His big-arse feet took another step. I backed up.

“Why do you have tears, darlin’?” he asked softly.

Tears?

I wiped at my face angrily. “I don’t know,” I snapped. I pulled my sleeves down over my hands and gripped the material. I lifted both arms and held one around my waist, the other over my chest.

He groaned, probably in annoyance for running after a stupid little girl. “I know I said I was busy, but—”

“But you didn’t want to come here.” My stomach clenched. “That’s fine, Ryan. It’s fine.” My heart beat so hard that it started to ache.

“She’s saying fine a lot. That’s not good,” I heard Julian comment.

“Emmie, that’s not—”

“I know.” I nodded, more to myself than him. More tears filled my eyes as I glanced down at the floor.

“Know what?” Ryan asked quietly. His voice still grumbled though.

I blinked and tears dropped. “I know you see me as too young. I know I’m not what you want. I know—”

“Baby, don’t—”

“I know I’m still mixed up. Why else would I still dream of it? I know… I know I’m never going to be good enough for you—”

“Christ, Emmie. Don’t.”

But I couldn’t stop. I just couldn’t. “That’s okay, Ryan.” I smiled sadly at the floor. “It’s okay.” I shrugged. “All you had to do was tell me. I know I shouldn’t have held out hope for something more between us—”

“Emerson,” he growled out, but his voice also held pain.

How was I hurting him?

“But I did, and I understand now that I would never be your type. I’m not… enough. I have scars.” My throat caught for a moment. “You deserve someone you want. Someone perfect for you. You really do.”

“Baby doll,” Ryan tried again, this time on a whisper.

I shook my head and wiped at my tears. My sleeve lifted as I did; I slowly lowered my arm and ran fingers over the marks there. “You don’t need anyone broken. Anyone like me.”

“Fuckin’ hell,” he clipped. My eyes snagged on his feet as he stepped close. His big hands cupped my cheeks and he lifted my head so he could have my gaze.

“You don’t have to—”

“Shut it, baby doll. It’s my turn.” His eyes ran over my face. I reached up to take his wrists so I could pull his hands away from my face, but his next words had me stilling. “The only thing holding me back from wanting to see where this could go for us is your age.Youdeserve someone better, someone your own age.”

“I only see you,” I told the stupid man.

His jaw clenched. His eyes drifted down to my lips. And then he kissed me. It was soft and sweet, but I needed more. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tugged him closer. He made a noise in the back of his throat before deepening the kiss. My mouth opened under his. Immediately, his tongue swept in and played with my own. My body quivered, my heart skipped down to my belly and swirled in a pleasant motion. The kiss was more than I’d ever imagined.

Too soon, he pulled back. “Dinner. Tomorrow night. You and me.”

I nodded.

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