Page 50 of Out to Find Freedom

I didn’t look.

Too afraid I’d get out of the car and run back to Ryan, begging him to let me stay by his side. Too worried I would burst into tears.

Ryan had been a part of my life for over two months. He’d been my distraction and my lifeline, and inevitably, my attraction to him had grown.

Had it grown into something that I never should have felt?

Possibly.

But I wouldn’t change it. I knew the type of man he was, and he deserved to have my affection. Even if he didn’t know about it.

The car moved away. I gripped my phone tighter and clenched my jaw to stop from saying anything. I closed my eyes to keep the tears behind them. My stomach churned, my pulse raced, and the back of my neck broke out in a sweat. I tapped my feet to the floor in a nervous patter.

“Are you okay?” Julian groaned at his own question. “I mean… Warden and you, something happened?”

Snorting, I opened my eyes, only to have them water. I wiped them away jerkily. “No.” I shook my head. More tears fell. “Only….” I shrugged, then winced when my side twinged. I glanced out the window. “He… was next door and….” I puffed out an annoyed breath.

“I think I get it,” Julian said. “You’ve had him next door for a while. You’re used to him. From what I heard, you two talked a little.”

I shrugged again. “Just a little.” My eyes drifted down to my phone.

“Well, you know he’ll only be a phone call away.”

“I wouldn’t call him.”

I could feel Julian’s eyes on me as we stopped at a red light. The rumble of Killer’s bike had me looking out the window again to see him next to us. He gave me a nod. I waved lamely.

“Why?” Julian asked when we drove off again.

“He’s done enough. He doesn’t need me pestering him.” Did that sound whiny? I wasn’t sure, but the words rang true. Ryan didn’t need someone like me in his life.

“I don’t think he’d agree with that,” Julian said as he pulled into a driveway. I glanced out the back window to see Killer behind us. He climbed off his bike. Julian went on when he turned off the car. “Warden isn’t built like that. He cares. He may seem gruff, but he has a heart of a big squishy teddy bear. A lot of the men in our family and group of friends do.” He looked out the windscreen and his smile grew. “Speaking of teddy bears, there’s mine.”

A man who looked younger than Julian walked towards the car. He had a small smile on his lips, but it widened when Julian waved crazily.

At least Julian was distracted from our previous conversation. He was sweet to say Ryan wouldn’t agree with my thoughts. Even if that was the case, I couldn’t ring Ryan. I had to distance myself from him. For my own sake.

Julian’s door popped open, and the man stuck his head in. “Hey,” he greeted Julian, his eyes raking all over him and softening.

“Hi, poppet,” Julian cooed. He grabbed the man’s chin, kissed him quickly, and then moved his face to look at me. “Look what I found. A dove. My dove, this is my better half, Mathew. But his friends call him Mattie. Poppet, this is our Emmie.”

“Hey, Emmie.”

“Hi, Mattie.” We both laughed.

It felt foreign coming out of my mouth, but I had a feeling many people laughed around Julian.

Something hit the roof of the car, and I let out a squeak. Mattie was pushed back, and Killer’s face appeared. “Sorry,” he bit out.

“It’s all right,” I told him. It was my fault for being so jumpy.

“Let’s get inside, yeah?”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Julian called, then saluted. Killer sighed and disappeared out the door. Mattie walked around the car, came to my side, and opened my door.

He stepped back. I unclicked my seat belt, gripped my phone, and climbed out of the car. Julian was in front of us, saying, “Come on, let’s get you settled.”

He always seemed so energetic and happy. I wondered if he’d always been like that. He held the front door open to a cute weatherboard house. Mattie came up behind me and explained, “This used to be my sister’s house. But when Zara and Talon got hitched, she moved out to live with him and the kids in his home. It’s small, just two bedrooms, but Julian and I love it.”

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