Page 49 of Out to Find Freedom

It was dangerous to have that reaction. Especially when I wasn’t enough for a man such as him. Someone rugged, smart, handsome, nice, demanding, and sweet.

Julian squeezed my hand. I glanced at him, and he said, “Are you ready to go, my dove?”

I nodded. Julian stood and helped me up with him.

Lan started for the door first, then Killer, Julian, me, and finally Ryan. I wanted to glance over my shoulder. Wanted to talk to him, or even tell him thank you again for his kindness. I opened my mouth, closed it, and thought,just say something.

On the porch out front, Lan turned to me. “I’ll be sure to check in every day,” he said.

“Thank you for… being nice.”

His jaw clenched. He nodded and glanced at Ryan before taking off to his car. Julian stepped down the front steps, and since my hand was in his, I followed.

“Emmie,” Ryan called softly, causing my heart to jump extra quick.

I pulled my hand free and faced him. His palm was held out my way. I glanced down to see he held my phone. With a trembling hand, I reached out and took it. I crushed it to my chest.

Slowly, I looked up. His expression was blank, but his eyes held something more. I didn’t understand what. Licking my dry lips, I whispered, “Thank you…. You, um…. Just, thank you.”For everything.

He didn’t reply, just kept his gaze connected with mine and then eventually tilted his chin up at me. I noticed a tick in his jaw. I watched it for a moment, wondering why it did that.

“Emmie, honey,” Julian said.

I glanced over my shoulder at him. He tipped his head towards the car. The vehicle looked so far away.

Away from Ryan.

Coldness soaked into my bones. My body shivered. They stood around waiting on me, and yet I couldn’t seem to turn fully and leave.

But I had to.

Drawing in a deep breath, I nodded to Julian. Glancing back at Ryan, I peeked up at him through my lashes. “Goodbye,” I muttered.

Thank you again, and I’m sorry for darkening your days.

He grunted, “Later.”

It was then that I knew I had to move. He said no more, and I didn’t know exactly what I waited for. So I turned back to Julian. He gave me a closed-lip smile and held out his hand. I took it, and we made our way to the car where Killer stood with his motorcycle.

I wrapped my free arm around my waist. When Julian dropped my hand to open the passenger door, I used that hand to grip the hoodie at my chest because it had started to ache.

“Let’s go,” Julian said cheerily.

Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

I looked back. Ryan stood on the porch, leaning against the wall just to the side of the house. Since it was dark, I couldn’t make out his expression. My betraying bottom lip trembled. I quickly bit down on it.

He had been a part of my days for so long.

I didn’t want to go.

I didn’t want to walk away from him.

“Hey,” Julian whispered. My body jolted and I faced him. He smiled sadly. “You can go back to him. He won’t mind you staying there.”

Roughly, I wiped my eyes. “No, I’m okay.” That part of my life was over. I had a feeling it included Ryan Warden as well, and that hurt me more than the scars Gloria inflicted.

Sighing, I quickly slid into the car and didn’t look back out. Julian closed the door. Killer started his bike as Julian came around the car and got in. He started it, and out the corner of my eye, I caught him wave.

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