Page 30 of Out to Find Freedom

Forget it, I’ve probably guessed it right already or your name is just Emmie.

I’m about to smack the shit outta Butch, a guy I work with. He ate my damn lunch again.

Are you okay?

I feel like a fucking idiot messaging when I’m not getting a reply, but I’m gonna still do it.

Do you like Disney? A friend of mine does but I don’t see the point in watching it.

Some days I hate my job when I can’t find the answers I want.

He wasn’t just asking me things; he was also giving. Reading all of his responses was yet another something special he was giving me. I knew he liked to run, drink beer over spirits, read the comics in the newspaper, sing. But he also told me he’d never sung in front of anyone before. I was the first. He didn’t like the attention. No matter what Butch said about him being a ladies’ man and sucking up all the attention for himself when they went out, it was—in his words—bullshit. He was a loner when he could be, but it seemed his friends list was growing each year, and he was glad for it.

My eyes widened when I heard “Emmie” called loudly.

“No, no, no,” I chanted, climbing on top of the bed to peer out the window. When I saw Ryan standing on the back deck, I slammed my back into the wall out of sight. Only I still gripped the window edge to keep from falling.

“Emmie” was clipped roughly. I wavered on my feet. Why was he calling me? My hand left the window edge to grip at my chest. I needed to reach inside myself and hold my heart to steady the fast beating. When I heard footsteps above me, fear rolled my stomach. If they heard him, they could put two and two together. If they even guessed he was calling out for me, I didn’t know what would happen. All I could see was more blood and death flashing through my mind.

“Emmie” was snapped, louder than before.

I heard the front door open. With trembling hands, I quickly texted,Shut up. Only I didn’t think it was enough, so I sent another:Please, shut up. Please.

Then my throat closed over when I heard, “Hey, man.” Lenny was out there talking to Ryan.

Please, please don’t say anything about me.When Ryan replied with a greeting, Lenny went right into questioning him. After Ryan said he was calling his girl named Emily, some tension eased from my shoulders. I chanced a glance out the window. Lenny stood right near it, so I quickly moved away. What I couldn’t understand was why Ryan gave Lenny a different name.

Confusion drew my brows together, my pulse raced, and as soon as I heard Lenny leave, I quickly shot off a text to Ryan, telling him not to call my name again. If Gloria got home and Lenny told her anything about what Ryan said, I knew she would come down questioning me.

Tears threatened, but I closed my eyes tightly to blink them away. My phone vibrated. Ryan asked me if I was safe. I was for now, but I only told him I was.

His next message had me gasping.Tell me it’s not you in that fucking basement.

I didn’t know what to say. How had he known? Did he see me? It was hard to say since I didn’t see him once look that way, but he also had sunglasses on that didn’t show his eyes.

When I didn’t reply, he sent another.I can get you out.

Panic seized me.No!I quickly replied.

Ryan: Why the fuck not?

He wouldn’t understand. He didn’t know, and all I wanted to do was hide the phone. My fingers flew over the letters.I just can’t. Not yet.

My ears pricked up at the sound of an engine revving hard out the front.

Gloria was home.

I gripped my phone.Go inside. Don’t worry about me.I tried.

Ryan: Emmie. I can’t do that.

Gloria must have slammed her door hard enough for it to ring through the neighbourhood. She couldn’t catch me with my phone.

Emmie: Please, please go inside. I have to hide my phone.Don’t text. PLEASE,I begged, before running across the room and slipping the phone away. I didn’t know if Ryan would do as I asked, but I hoped. I really hoped.

Voices above rose. I quickly raced back to the bed and sat on it, curling my legs up to wrap my arms around my knees.

What would Lenny tell Gloria?

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