Nicholas, the principal of Caelum, was a perfect example of that. Janvier was his Chosen, and the dislike between them was evident. Christ, it was more than that; it was glaringly obvious.
Everybody knew when she was around because Nicholas was always in a bad mood. She only came a couple of times a year, and even then, that was because of duty. Females didn't do well long term without their Chosen. Males did okay, but females?
No.
The females of our species were strange in that their mental health was far more precarious than ours was.
They were fragile mentally, but incredibly strong physically.
After a childhood in the human world, it had always amazed me how different our society was to theirs.
We had far more respect for the women in our world—they weren't our rulers, and we weren't a matriarchal society—and certain things were definitely female dominant. Just because of the way we had to shield them, mostly. But rather than subjugate them for that, we empowered them. Lifting them up because, the truth of the matter was, a female who was backed into a corner, especially from a young age, had more chance of turning Ghoul than not.
There were more female Ghouls than males, which was a statistic that was beyond worrisome. For the past hundred or so years, as a species, we’d started treating women differently for a reason. They needed our help, and we weren't about to allow them to turn Ghoul.
So, not only was I grateful for Eve, I was happy to be her Chosen. My major concern was these abnormalities. Who could blame me?
But it was the main reason why I was stressed at the moment. Stress and the Hell Hound never went well together. They rammed against each other in a way that always put me on edge. I was harder in the ring, meaner during training. Just an hour ago, Frazer had told me to fuck off and go surfing because I’d pounded him into the mat, and that’s what I was currently doing.
It was just me against the ocean, and those were odds that I was never going to win. I thought that was why I liked it, though. The ocean was a force that could crush me in its maw. I had no chance of besting it, no chance that its rage wouldn't swallow me whole.
Caelum had an interesting surf.
There were many coves, and over my years here, I'd explored them all. Not only by foot but by surfboard. I took great comfort in the many different ways there were to surf around here. Bodyboard, paddle sailing... I'd done them all.
At the moment, though, I was using Cruckshanks Bay as a means of burning off this temper. In perfect conditions, it was capable of twelve-foot waves, and even better, there were funnels. There was nothing more exhilarating than pitting myself against Mother Nature.
As the tide pulled at me, the sea frothing against my skin and trying to freeze me, I was warm and toasty underneath my wet suit. Deep inside? I was the same, and I released a bellowing laugh that was loaded with joy.
Happiness filtered through me as I flung myself into the belly of the beast, focusing as I made it onto my board, my feet settling firmly in place as I began the smooth glide toward the shore.
The surf was with me today, and I was grateful for that. I truly did need the downtime. I hadn't felt this out of control in a while, and I knew it was because of Eve’s predicament, but also due to the fact that she was technically mine while she technically wasn't.
There was nothing I could do about that, though, and understanding why she wasn’t ready to Claim me wouldn’t calm my Hell Hound down.
With the sun beating down overhead, my eyes strained slightly against the brightness and I knew they'd be stinging later on from the salt. But even as the sun burned, the sea chilled, and I loved it. Beneath my wetsuit, my body temperature was perfect for once. The only time the Hell Hound’s higher temps were controlled was when I was in the ocean. I had issues with maintaining it on a normal day. When I was angry? It was even worse. I always felt overheated, to the point that it could surprise somebody if they happened to touch me.
But here, I felt wonderful.
When the tide flung me back to the shore, I decided I'd had enough. The hours swung by here, and I only knew the difference in time by the passage of the sun across the sky.
I had endless patience when I was doing this, and an endless amount of hours to spend on the ocean.
When I dragged myself onto the shore, I let myself relax against the sand. It would make a mess later, the sand burrowing even deeper into my wet gear, but that was what sand did. I didn't really care. I was used to it. There was a comfort in the normalcy of the tasks ahead—returning toCaelum, switching into clothes, and rinsing off my gear and my board. I'd need to wax the board too. Keep it in tip-top shape for the next time.
With the short to-do list buzzing in my head, even as I lay there cooling down from my intense workout, I felt guilty for not rushing off to clean my board because the salt could do a shit ton of damage as the water dried off, but I just needed to chill for a second, needed to get my breath under control.
With my back flat on the sand, I raised my knees and dug my heels into the shoreline. It was wet there. The water kept my toes damp as the tide curled along, the endlessness of the motion soothing something inside me that found no other peace.
There would come a time when Caelum wasn't my home. Not just because of Eve, but because that was how it worked. Caelum was our base, but not our home when we graduated. I wouldn't always have this much access to the sea, and that prospect terrified me. This past year, I'd been surfing more and more as a result. Trying to take advantage of the beaches here while I could as though I were trying to save it up for a later date.
I knew it wouldn't work that way, knew that it might make me miss the ocean even more, but I had no alternative.
My hands were tied in so many ways that it was no wonder my Hell Hound was raging.
Over the past year, the Hound had started to dominate the others. More than usual. I'd always known that mine had been closer to the surface than was considered normal—so Eve and I were perfectly weird together as I'd known from the start that I was strange in comparison to those in my year. But ever since I’d turned eighteen—when our dominant soul began to draw more powers from the others—I'd been aware that the Hound had even been present during the others’ days.
I wasn't looking forward to the time when I had nothing but the Hound to control. I wasn't sure what it would do to my temperament. Wasn't sure if it would make me angrier and quicker to burst into flames of rage than was already the case.