Page 107 of Caelum

My emotions were all over the place since I came to Caelum. Havingrelaxed the hold I had on myself, it was like the souls inside me were intent on letting loose, and I didn’t like it. I’d never been so out of control in my life. Had never realized I could hurt someone so easily and with such lack of guilt.

“I didn’t know what blanking someone meant until I heard it whispered about a million times as Stefan and Eren danced with me last night.” I’d felt mortification earlier that day when that boy had tripped me, but knowing that people had seen Frazer and Reed ignore me? That had hurt more because it was beyond physical, and it wasn’t like they deserved for me to punch them.

That boy had intended on hurting me. When he’d stuck his leg out for me to fall over, there was only one direction I was going. Down. I could have hurt myself, could have hit my head on the coffee table nearby, or might have even hurt my knee or twisted my wrist after I fell.

But Reed and Frazer?

They’d hurt my feelings, and had my Succubus or Vampire been in control, I knew they wouldn’t take too kindly to this emotional hurt.

When we were alone, they’d been so kind. So open. I’d thought we were friends. Just showed how stupid I was.

At my words, however, Frazer winced, but again, there was no apology. He stared down at me, and his bright blue eyes seemed to gleam with a light I didn’t understand. They were different than Stefan’s. His were like a cornflower, whereas Frazer’s were a stormy, royal blue.

I knew because I’d looked up the color blue on Google so I could discern the differences between the two.

I felt like Stefan’s were close to cyan, but they weren’t green enough. Cornflower felt too pretty a word to describe his eyes, but what could I do? I couldn’t change the color’s name, could I?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I demanded with a huff, starting to feel antsy. I’d never known a single look could feel forceful, yet here was my proof.

“Because I’m trying to decide how much to tell you.”

I jerked back at that. “What a strange thing to say,” I muttered. “Shouldn’t you just tell me the truth?”

He ground his teeth. “In a perfect world, I would. But…” Frazer jerked his thumb in the ward’s direction. “Nestor’s proof that the world isn’t perfect. If it were, we wouldn’t have to leave Caelum until we were fully formed. We wouldn’t need training to stop those bastards from reigning terror on humans. But it isn’t perfect, and we do have to go out there unprotected.”

I could hear the anger in his voice and knew it was genuine. He wasn’t trying to deceive me with whatever explanation he was attempting to give me. The way his voice shook and his body seemed to tense was proof enough.

“That was why I sought you out last night,” I told him quietly. “Stefan and Eren told me you saved Nestor.”

He shrugged. “I did what any of us would do.”

“I don’t care about that. I just know that you did. Thank you.” My words were heartfelt.

Nestor meant a lot to me, more than I really knew how to express in words.

He, Eren, and Stefan had taken me under their wing that first day, and I’d never be able to repay them for the security that gave me.

I wasn’t alone.

And they were the reason for that.

Frazer reached up and gripped the back of his neck. There was pain on his face, and I didn’t understand it. Didn’t know why he was looking at me like that.

It reminded me of Eren on the days when there was apple pie at the cafeteria, and yet, there was the darkness I could see clouding up Dre’s eyes when he thought I couldn’t tell he was watching me.

Want and distrust. Need and anger.

They were jarring emotions, and I could tell they were affecting Frazer, knew that was why he was so on edge.

The grip he had on his neck tightened to the point that all the muscles in his arm were suddenly delineated, making me aware of just how big and strong he was. Yikes. I hadn’t known men could be like this until I’d come to Caelum.

“I need to show you something,” he eventually rasped, making me realize I’d been studying his arms for far longer than was polite.

I blinked at him. “Okay.”

He blinked back. “Really?”

“Yes. What do you want to show me?”

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