Page 79 of Caelum

Funny how I just figured out that I wasn’t homesick or worrying about my parents or siblings because Stefan, Nestor, and Eren had overtaken them in my lives.

That should have made me feel horrible, but it didn’t. They’d shown me more love and compassion in my time at Caelum than my family ever had. Was it any wonder I was dreading being without them for however long they were going to be away?

I kept my face turned to the window where I stared out onto the ocean. At my back, Eren and Nestor were talking about things they’d need for their trip. Their excitement was bubbling over, and it hurt, yet again, that they weren’t going to include me.

Why didn’t they?

Didn’t they want me there?

Was I a drag?

I knew that was what everyone else thought. Well, save for Frazer and Reed of all people. They were the only students who actively spoke to me. Everyone else just pointed at me and snickered when I almost puked in gym class, or the girls bitched at me because, and I’d been slow to realizethis, Stefan was popular and they didn’t appreciate his tending to me the way he was.

Did they really not want me hanging around? Did they just keep me there out of pity?

I’d never thought things like this before, but their lack of inclusion on this trip put me on edge in a way that made me recognize I’d been calm since coming to Caelum.

“Hey, what is it?”

I blinked at Eren, surprised to see Nestor had gone. “Where’s Nestor?”

“He had gym.”

That was their usual response. I knew it wasn’t always the truth, but I didn’t mind. I wasn’t their keeper, nor did I want them to think I was their jailor.

“Oh.” I turned back to look at the window. The sky was so startlingly blue it was enough to make my eyes sting, but the ocean itself was dark. The sea should be blue too, but it was more navy. Like the comforter I had on my bed. And the spray? It was the purest white I’d ever seen. The way the water crashed into the cliffs made me wish I could dance amid the spray… without getting crushed into the rocks, of course. But it was light and effervescent in a way that I wasn’t.

A way that I felt sure I’d never be.

These guys had found their place here, but I hadn’t. I’d only found more questions that needed to be answered. In the interim, though, I thought I had them, but this trip was making me insecure.

And I didn’t like it.

“What’s wrong?” Eren repeated, and when his hand touched my chin, I jerked in surprise. In fact, I jerked so hard that he dropped his fingers.

For a second, we both just looked at each other, and then I swallowed and whispered, “Sorry.”

“For what?” He gamely tried to let my stupid reaction go.

“For that.” I licked my lips and reached for his hand, and then turning his palm up, I lifted it to my cheek, motioning for him to cup my jaw again.

We both released a shaky breath when he touched me, the dry skin of his palm brushing my silkier flesh. His had calluses and were hardened from everything he did in the gym, in contrast to mine.

His thumb began to move, back and forth, back and forth, caressing my jawline in a way that had me swallowing, but I couldn’t take my eyes from his. His gleamed a chestnut brown, but there were amber striations around the pupils that reminded me of the ocean spray. They seemed to dance, inviting me along for the ride.

“Your Lorelei is in full force today, isn’t she?” he murmured, making me blink.

“She is?” I knew which soul was in control, but I didn’t think he’d be able to tell. Could I sense his? Before I could think about it more, concentrate on what he was today, he nodded.

“I can sense her.” When he closed his eyes and inhaled, I cursed my pale skin for yet another blush. This time it was in surprise and… shockingly enough, want.

I wanted him. Just as I had yesterday morning when I’d awoken with my head in his lap. I’d opened my eyes, looked at his sleeping face and… I’d wanted him.

Those three words didn’t penetrate well at first.

I was used to being wanted. It happened on days like today or when my Succubus was around. But this was different.

Ifelt it. Normally, it was as irritating as a fly buzzing around my head in the summer sun. This? It was a heat that seemed to make my blood sluggish.

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