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For that, my soul will never find peace because until I understand what You ask of me, I remain adrift. You have put me in this place for a reason, yet I do not understand.

Have You forsaken me too, Father?

I do not hear Your voice.

I pray to You but You do not listen.

My will is my own, and yet, the Savio of before is not the man kneeling here today. My sanity is a fractured web, leaving behind a creature I do not know. One that is neither a priest nor a man. One that is a beast who is broken.

I am not truly sorry for my sins, Father.

For that, Icanrepent.

And I will endeavor to uncover Your reasons for putting me in this prison. I will work out Your plan for me if it’s the last thing I do.

May Your mercy endure forevermore even if Your grace never touches me again.

Amen.”

CHAPTER 4

From the desk of Andrea Jura

FORT STEWART, GEORGIA

THREE DAYS LATER

Dear Father Savio,

I just learned that you’ve been freed!

I first wrote you a note when you were taken captive. It’s tough for me to believe that it’s been two years. That you were forgotten for two WHOLE years. That you suffered for TWO YEARS.

Your plight hurts my heart but, more than that, my soul burns in outrage for you.

How could the Church leave you there to rot?

I saw the state of you on the news.

You’re a broken man.

THEY broke you.

The captors, yes, but THEM. The higher-ups. The bishops. The archbishops. The Pope.

You weren’t protected. They failed you and it makes me hate them on your behalf.

I asked the local priest if there was a way to send you a letter, and he said he’d pass it on… Whether it makes it into your hands or not, I’ll never know.

I wrote you a note when you were first taken. You can find it enclosed—yes, I kept it. I had nowhere to send it so of course, I did. I’m in college now so I came home. I have the worst headache too but I still looked through my stuff tonight because I knew I had kept it and wanted you to have it ASAP.

After rereading it, I’m cringing, but you deserve to see the words. That ‘something bad’ I did was nothing in comparison to what I’d do to avenge YOU.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry they let you down.

It seems to me that every time I see you, be it in an article or on TV, something shifts in my life. I have to believe that’s for a reason.

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