Page 429 of Lodestar

The rest of the journey took place in silence, most of us just staring out onto the river, each of us processing what we’d learned.

We picked up burgers for dinner, watched a movie, and headed to bed. Star fell asleep quickly, which didn’t surprise me, to be honest, because the day had been an emotional pit of stress, but by contrast, Icouldn’tsleep.

I ended up heading to our office.

Running some programs, I started a search on child shrinks because I figured that it was time we went with some professional help if Kat was remembering her father ‘hurting’ her mother.

Considering the bastard had ended up murdering her, the last thing we needed was Kat remembering that in a dissociative state without having some outside help close by.

Around two AM, I heard Kat scream from a nightmare.

I always woke before Star did when that happened, which spoke of how bad my sleep was, but today was different.Tonightwas a new night.

Kat remembered a father who hurt her mother. I needed to replace that memory, needed to do something to makethatbetter.

So I didn’t go and wake Star up. Instead, I cautiously opened Kat’s bedroom door and from the doorway, called, “Katina, you can wake up now. You’re safe.”

She didn’t stir, just kept on crying, and those tears fucking broke me. They wrecked something inside me that had never been touched before, and I knew this was the moment where I had to step up—no longer was I just the man dating her foster mom, I was more than that.

Because I wasn’t simply dating Star—I was engaged to her.

Star was my forever. My fucking everything. And that meant Kat was too.

Feeling awkward about entering her bedroom, I shuffled over to the bed and cleared my throat.

That didn’t work.

I reached down and gently cupped her shoulder which was trembling. Ren meowed at me, but I ignored the kitten to whisper, “Kat. You’re safe, sweetheart. You need to wake up because you’re dreaming. Whatever you’re seeing isn’t real. It’s just a dream.”

I crooned the words to her, hoping she’d hear them, but if she did, she merged from sleeping to waking in increments.

Taking a seat at her bedside, I gently stroked her hair, doing what I guessed I wished Ma had done to me when I’d had nightmares.

When Da had stopped her from comforting me because I needed to man up.

The thought had a frown puckering my mouth as I did what I could to soothe her until, out of nowhere, her arms were sliding around my waist and she was sobbing, “Why won’t they stop, Conor? Why won’t they stop?”

My throat felt thick with emotions I didn’t know how to express, probablycouldn’texpress because I’d been stunted in that sense when I was her age.

“I wish I knew why, sweetheart. I wish I knew.” I sucked in a breath. “What did you dream of? Do you want to talk about it?”

“He was hurting her again.”

“Is this the first time you remembered?”

“No,” she whispered as if it were a secret.

“You remembered before but didn’t tell Star?”

“I didn’t want to upset her.” She sniffled. “She’s worried about me.”

“I am too,” I reassured.

“I know but you’re different.”

“I am?”

She hitched a shoulder. “I don’t know why, but you are.”

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