Page 332 of Lodestar

Maybe closure was why Conor could forgive me?

He had that with his da’s passing.

His father, never a man to accept anyone controlling his fate, had died on his own terms…

“Okay.” When Conor shot me a quick look, I stated, “I’ll see Dagda.”

“I’ll let Finn know you want to speak with him.”

“Why Finn?”

“He’ll tell us when Dagda wakes up and is able to talk.” He laid his hand on my knee this time.

The gesture went deeper than he could imagine.

I didn’t know if I’d have been able to forgive me formytrespasses against his family, but maybe that was just proof Conor was a better person than I was.

When he squeezed me there, pulsing his fingers twice, gently, I slipped my hand over his, a welter of gratitude filling me.

He was too generous with himself. Too kind and loving with those he considered his own.

I’d let him down so badly, his family, the only people who mattered to him, too, and…

I gritted my teeth.

I couldn’t control the past. I couldn’t change it. But I could make a difference going forward.

I’d be the best ‘insert label’that Conor could ever have.

Unaware of my thoughts, mistaking my internal tension and assuming it revolved around the situation with my mother, he murmured, “Dagda might have nothing to add to the narrative you’ve got in your head, but it’s better to know, isn’t it?”

That was the thing—the ‘narrative’ I had on my mother’s death was riddled with plot holes.

I guessed it was time to fill in the gaps.

17

CONOR

After droppingTroy off at the brownstone next to Finn and Aoife’s place, we headed inside to ask Finn to loop us in on updates about Dagda.

Aoife had brownies fresh out of the oven so, of course, we had to eat those after she offered us the guest shower to clean up thanks to the grimy work of a makeshift undertaker.

With me borrowing some of Finn’s sweats and a hoodie and Star doing the same with Aoife’s clothes, we left our gear with my brother so he could see to them being incinerated.

Afterward, we talked about Dagda’s current status, ate some of their leftovers too, and it was while we were eating that Star received a text that immediately soured her mood.

She didn’t exactly turn sullen, just went quiet.

Knowing how private she was, I didn’t push the conversation but wound things with my brother and sister down and got us out of there.

After she settled in the passenger seat and I was backing up the tank of a car that feltandmaneuvered like it weighed a thousand tons, I asked, “Who texted you?”

I half expected her not to answer, but she mumbled, “Reggie.”

Concern hit me because I knew her ex-CO was currently on guard duty. “Is Minerva hurt?”

“No. Not aside from being heartbroken.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “The funeral’s on Tuesday.”

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