Page 279 of Lodestar

“You always have permission. I know you’ll never hurt me, Star.”

Her throat bobbed. “You say that so easily. I’ve proven that I hurt first and ask questions later.”

I reached for her hand. “That was before you wore this.” My thumb rubbed over the cameo ring I’d given her. “Everything’s changed now, hasn’t it?”

A gentle breath whispered from between her lips. “Yes, it has.” I cupped her chin, watching as she tilted her head to the side to nuzzle into me. “Conor?”

“Hmm?”

“You always have permission too.”

I stilled. “That’s big.”

“And it wasn’t for you?”

“You don’t have to say that just because I did,” I informed her kindly. “My situation is very different from yours, and yours is also more recent?—”

Anger flared in her eyes. “You don’t have to downplay it around me. I’m not your brothers, Conor. I’m not your Da. I’m?—”

“What are you, Star?” I half-growled, wanting her to say the word. Needing her to say it.

“Yours.” Her chin tipped up, the gesture defiant. “If I do something to trigger you, then I won’t do it again?—”

“I didn’t give you permission to trigger me,” I pointed out. “I gave you permission to touch me. There’s a difference.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Are we splitting hairs?”

“No,” I said around a laugh, my irritation immediately fading. “We’re not. The latter is what happens in an adult relationship. The former is when you’re living with a rapist. I’m not your ex-husband.”

“You’re nothing like him,” she ground out, jerking upright as if my words infuriated her. “You’d never do anything that he did.”

“Well, then, you know you’re in safe hands,” I commented with ease, wanting to calm her down when I’d inadvertently agitated her.

She frowned at me, repeating, “You’d never do what he did.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“So never compare yourself in any way to him again. He wasn’t my ‘ex-husband.’ He was my jailor. He was?—”

“Where’s Kat?” I asked, breaking into her tirade.

“She said she was going to ask Aoife for breakfast. Kat wakes up earlier than the larks. It’s a cruel twist of fate seeing as I’m a night owl. Not even the Army broke me out of that habit.”

I slid the backs of my fingers across her cheek. “This part of the house is an annex.”

“I know. Why do you think I was coming onto you?”

“Just checking that you were comfortable.”

She hummed. “I am.”

“Did you enjoy killing him?”

What could only be described as malevolent glee exploded into being behind her eyes. I recognized it because I’d seen it often in Da’s when he’d been having fun that involved blood spatter and screams.

“Hans?”

I nodded.

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