Page 31 of Silenced

Shakily, adrenaline petering out, I stagger to the bed when the shower cuts.

Feeling more lightheaded than ever, I snap out the comforter so it covers the mattress again, hoping he won’t realize I explored the space. As fatigued as I am, that’s a difficult task.

With some relief, I switch off the lights and duck beneath the covers, hiking them high so that I’m swaddled entirely, muscles trembling in exertion.

After preparing myself for another round with him, he spoils my plans when he doesn’t immediately return to the bedroom. If anything, he’s in there for so long that I start to feel drowsy.

Maybe it’s the lingering fatigue from the drugs, maybe it’s the repeated adrenaline crashes, or maybe it’s a combination ofeverythingthat has my eyes closing now that I’m beneath the covers and my head is cushioned by one of the softest pillows I’ve ever slept on…

Whichever reason it is, I don’t let the ‘whys’ linger as I escape my present and tumble into slumber.

And if that slight glimpse of his ass is the last mental image of the night, that’s between me and the sandman.

9

NIKOLAI

Hayling - FC Kahuna

* * *

Temptation issomething I rarely experience.

I take what I want when I want it.

Whether it’s a car or a Patek Phillippe, a Monet or turf that belongs to another faction, if I want it, I procure it.

But I neverwanta woman.

I want to come. I want to burn off some energy. I want to fuck. I want a pussy.

The creature in possession of the pussy isn’t something I particularly desire.

Fucking is an act that relieves tension, much like a heavy workout in the gym does.

But at this moment, I’m tempted.

Pure sunlight is lying atop my bed.

In my bedroom.

Under my roof.

The notion makes me breathe heavily as I allow the rainfall shower to pound my nape while I fight the craving to jack off.

Desire plagues me, urges crawling down my spine that the water won’t wash away.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t bother fighting my inclinations.

But she’s not only mysolnyshko, she’s been drugged.

That changes things.

I cut off the water.

Not tonight, I tell myself.

I’m not my father.

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