Page 204 of Silenced

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“Mom,”I rasp as the door opens to reveal Dema Turgenev, whose arms immediately fling wide to embrace me.

This visit was unexpected, to the point that I didn’t know I was on the way here until Nikolai warned me during the ride over.

He promised me that she wanted to see me, and how she holds me in her arms is all the confirmation I need.

When she hugs me, embracing me as fiercely as I need to be embraced, I don’t even try to withhold my sob of relief.

Like he senses my inner turmoil, Nikolai’s hand settles on my lower back. Warm. Affectionate. A reminder—he’s there.Not intruding, just a whisper of safety that lets me settle deeper into my mom’s bear hug.

As I squeeze her in return, she rocks me, muttering, “I let you down, Cassie. I’m so sorry. I didn’t even know Harvey was…” She swallows. “I just didn’t like him. Didn’t approve. And when you married him so soon after your father’s death, I got angry. Bitter.

“I let distance come between us when I should never have allowed that to happen.” She swipes at her tear-stained cheeks. “I didn’t even know he was hurting you until Nikolai contacted me. I’m so ashamed—”

“Stop it,” I order, finally able to get a word in edgewise. “Please. There’s no need. I hid it from everyone.”

“You’d never have been able to hide it from me. Not if I hadn’t been—”

“Grieving? You’d lost Papa, Mom. You were reeling. We both were.” I close my eyes. “I don’t know why I let him persuade me to get married so soon after his death. It felt right. I was lost, and I was sure it’d help me find myself again but he used my grief against me. Isolated me even more. I was stupid—”

Behind me, Nikolai releases a hiss. “Stop it. You were not.”

Mom flickers a look at him, but she doesn’t comment. Just pulls back to study me, then she lets go of my waist so that she can cup my cheeks. “It’s not stupid to love someone. It’s not stupid to let yourself be vulnerable with them. They’re the stupid ones for taking that love and weaponizing it.

“I just wish I’d known. I could have done something—”

“I wouldn’t have let you,” I mumble. “He had me under his thumb.”

“I didn’t even know you were missing.”

“How could you?” I appease, her despairing tone soothing something raw inside me.

I’ve missed her.

She cups my chin. “I will do better by you from now on, child. Do you hear me?”

I smile at her. “I’m not a child, Mom.”

“You’ll always be my baby. That’s why I’m angry at myself. I should never have…” Her eyes flicker shut. “Your father would have been so mad at me for letting such distance come between us. He’d be ashamed of me.”

“He shouldn’t have left us,” I counter, still irrationally annoyed that hediddare to leave us.

Papa was always our referee so, without him, it was natural that we’d flounder.

A soft laugh barks from her. “You’re right. He shouldn’t have.” With her grip still on my chin, she tilts my head to the side. “You look good. Better than good. Beautiful. Happy.”

When she presses a kiss to my forehead, it reminds me so much of my father’s patented move that more tears prick my eyes.

“Iamhappy.” It’s nuts but that doesn’t stop it from being the truth. I really am. “I’m safe. He can’t get to me anymore. Nikolai saw to that.”

“He’s dead?” She doesn’t aim that strange question at me—she aims it at Niko. “Well?”

The expectant tone has my eyes widening.

“Yes, I know who you are,” she retorts, aiming the words at Niko, whose expression isn’t as blank as usual—he’s taken aback too. “Is that bastard dead or do you not deserve my daughter either, ‘Mute?’”

‘Mute?!’

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