Page 177 of Silenced

His break in control tells me he’s come to the same conclusion as I have.

“He can’t be dead,” Misha rasps, his voice hoarse.

Grigoriy rubs his eyes. “We almost lost him. Twice.”

“Almost?” I whisper, hope hurting me more than Harvey ever could.

Beneath me, Nikolai is practically vibrating with it too.

“We had to induce a coma. There’s a lot of damage, Pakhan.” Grigoriy swallows, his nerves seeping through. “You need to prepare yourself for the worst.”

If I thought Nikolai turned to ice before, now his rage is set. When Grigoriy escapes his boss’s fury, making a swift retreat to the hospital room, the flames licking around Nikolai don’t burn me as he presses a soft kiss to my cheek then shuffles me onto the seat where I was originally.

“Boris is bringing Rundel toNav. The alligators will eat well tonight,” he signs.

Surprised, I frown at him. “What does that have to do with anything?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Where are you going?” I ask when he stands. “You can’t just leave.”

He stares at me, his ire surging around him like a visceral entity, leaving phantom shadows flicking over his face as he urges four anger-soaked, fury-bitten, wrath-filled words from his throat: “Dmitri will be avenged.”

“He doesn’t need that,” I argue, suddenly terrified that he’ll do something… crazy.

Fuck, who am I kidding?

Nikolaiiscrazy!

When I reach for him, he snags my hand in his and presses a kiss to the tips of my fingers before he lets go to sign, “I’ll be back soon.”

“Your son needs you,” I cry desperately as he turns away.

His shoulders stiffen but he doesn’t listen.

God damn him.

As he steps toward the door, Misha nods briskly at me. Igor too. And I’m alone again. Until Niko returns to the doorway and hovers in place, staring at me with such pain etched into his features that it hurts me like it’s my own.

“Be with him. For me,” he signs.

It’s the plea in his eyes that has my lips trembling until I firm them. “I will.”

He nods, relief easing into his expression before it disappears. Any and all softness blinks out of existence, leaving the Pakhan behind, not my Nikolai.

Because heismine.

And, like he always says, I’mhis.

Which means I’m the boss of Grigoriy too.

So when Nikolai heads out, revenge on his mind, I don’t stick around in the outer waiting room. I get to my feet and return to Dmitri’s ward.

The nurses frown at me, but Grigoriy doesn’t say anything as he peers at me over a clipboard so they don’t either.

Instead, I find a seat and I wait and watch them tend to Nikolai’s son.

Later, when they’ve gone, after Grigoriy explains what the upcoming hours will look like, Semion and Sergei move into place as my guards, and, ignoring them, I lean forward and squeeze his hand.

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