Page 155 of Silenced

“Didn’t his father come looking?”

“Of course, but we were a thousand miles away and I had more money to hide him. The first thing I did when I finally started earning and had some contacts was buy him a different identity so he could go to school here.” He sniffs. “How does he repay me? By talking like one of you.”

A soft bark of laughter escapes me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“‘Like,’ ‘whatever,’ ‘totally.’” He rolls his eyes, but I can see the smile on his lips as he teases me. “He’s been talking about therapy for a while now, but I think he honestly means to go. Can you imagine?”

Yeah. I hide my smile. Itotallycan.

“He probably needs it,” is all I say though. Hell, Nikolai, Misha, and Maxim sound like they need it too.

As I look at him, I can’t help but see how many layers there are to this man.

He’s ruthless and cold, a killer with an instinct to match, but he saved two boys from an orphanage and helped countless others along the way.

Because I can sense this conversation is done with, I ask, “Are you sure my papa did… all that?”

He chucks me under the chin. “I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t believe what I was saying. I’m just disappointed Peshnya never got to use his ice pick on the man who deserves it most—his son-in-law.”

“Papa would…”

He seems to know what I’m saying because he rubs his nose against my temple. “I know,solnyshko.”

“I wish he’d killed him,” I rasp, my tone fierce. “I wish I’d never married him or met him or been fooled by him or been—”

Nikolai tuts then encourages me to relax into him. I hide my face in his throat even though I can feel the embers of my anger seething in my soul.

Harvey’s in the past. He’ll be dead soon enough.

As for Papa, he was a murderer.

Nikolai’s right—dangerhasbeen dogging my footsteps for longer than I’ve known.

It’s starting to feel like I’m only safe in Niko’s arms.

As if he’s reading my mind,again,he tightens his embrace.

It’s not the first time the thought occurs to me:

I hope he doesn’t let go.

But, I chide myself because…

Iknowthat he won’t.

36

NIKOLAI

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

I admitI stayed out later than usual tonight, working in my office when I’d have preferred to spend time with Cassiopeia.

It’s ridiculous to feel vulnerable, but when I’m forced to look toward the past, those memories are tough to hide from.

The shit I did to make a living on the streets repulses even me. I’d do it again, though. Would do anything to make sure that Maxim and Misha had food in their bellies.

Did she know what I was saying—without me having to say it?

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