Page 114 of Wicked Rivals

The Commission refused to help me with this even after I agreed to sit at their table.

Then again, if I opened fire on the restaurant, killing the whole committee at once and assuming that power, that would get me the respect I needed from the families.

But that forthcoming respect would take time as well.

And the act itself would start a war before that respect came, a war I couldn’t win without the Capaldo men.

Killing the Commission members after marrying Benedetta would give me enough men to stop the war before it started. In a single move, I would have my revenge and control of the entire city all at once.

But that option meant losing Val.

I couldn’t find her and save her before news of my marriage became public knowledge. Not even the slaughter of the entire Commission would stop that information from getting out.

Being completely honest with myself, I had to admit I didn't want either of those things. I wanted to find Val myself. I wanted to be her hero, to save her, to protect my son, and to murder with my own hands the animal who’d taken her from me.

If I had it my way, Val would be home right now. She would be mine, willingly and without hesitation. Enzo would be legitimized and named my heir, protected for the rest of his life, no matter how involved I stayed in the business after that. Though in this ideal world, of course, I would be involved.

But that would cost me dearly. It would strip away everything I’d worked to achieve.

Either way, the necessity of a sacrifice stared me dead in the face. Not for the first time, claiming my revenge and claiming the only woman I’d ever loved warred with each other for priority in my next decision.

Choosing Val meant losing all the progress I’d gained. The networks. The power. The contacts. Everything.

The fucking contacts. Even without a marriage to make it official, Val was the mother of my only son, and that should have been enough for them.

They betrayed me. And I would not forget it.

It occurred to me that the families withholding their support could have had something to do with showing loyalty to Capaldo. Helping me find my mistress would be a slap in his daughter’s face. The families probably assumed Val had been taken by Capaldo himself.

If I chose my revenge, that meant choosing to let Val die. Not only would I throw away such a vital part of my life, one that I hadn’t realized was missing until yesterday, but I would lose my son forever.

Enzo understood what was happening. He knew all this had started because of me.

If I became the reason his mother died, he would never forgive me. No matter where he lived, even if I forced him to remain under my roof. No matter what I gave him. No matter how hard I tried to make up for it in other ways.

He would never forgive me, and I couldn't blame him.

Losing Val also meant losing my son. A son I hadn’t known I wanted until meeting him.

Now I couldn't imagine my life without him in it.

But how the hell could I choose Val when I still had no clue how to find her?

All my deliberations came back to the same thing.

Pursuing my revenge came much easier to me because I knew how to get it. I’d been working toward it for so long, and I understood each necessary next step to avenge my family and finally seize the power owed to me.

I might give up everything to receive nothing.

It should have been a no-brainer.

On paper, it seemed simple. I hadn't seen Val for a decade. I should let her die, put my son in therapy to process his grief, and work hard to build a relationship with him while grooming him as my successor. I would have liked him to love me, but love was an unnecessary addition in this life.

He would learn to respect me in time.

I moved my gaze over to the phone on my desk. I only had to pick it up, and I could make that happen.

So why couldn't I do it?

---