Page 3 of Keep Your Friends Close and Your… Work Enemy Closer?

"Okay, Dee. I'm just gonna get to work on all this paperwork, and then I can't wait to spend the whole entire day with you."

Was that sarcasm? If so, why did he have such a big smile on his face? Or was the smile also completely sarcastic? I couldn't tell anything with this guy, but I knew one thing. He was going to make my life miserable.

I searched my surroundings for Mona, but she was nowhere to be found. Actually no one was. So I texted her. "Emergency meeting in the bathroom. Please. I'm begging you."

Ignoring Jared who was loudly opening his desk drawers and exploring everything like a little kid in a candy store, I rushed past, trying my best to keep it together and not completely lose it.

But it didn't work.

By the time I reached the sanctuary of the women's restroom, I'd decided this was the universe's way of getting back at me for my big deception. With the exception of Nina in HR, I'd lied to every single person here about my identity, even Mona who was the sweetest, kindest person alive.

And clearly the universe didn't like any kind of lying, even for a good reason. Karma had worked. Jared was my karma.

I rushed inside but Mona wasn't there yet, so I went to the sink and soaked a paper towel to wipe on the back of my neck, remembering that was where he'd breathed on me in the elevator. What a fucking day already.

The door opened, Mona's wide eyes finding me in an instant. "What's happening? What's going on?" she asked in a hurried voice.

"Have you seen or heard about the new guy, Jared?"

Her mouth gaped open. "We have a new guy? Oh, my God, is he cute? Did you meet him last night at some birthday eve party, then have hot, crazy sex with him and now he's the guy sitting next to you at work?"

"What? Fuck no."

Mona's face fell a bit. "Oh, okay. Well, is he cute?"

"No! He has a mustache."

She shrugged. "That's not a deal-breaker for me."

"Well, it is for me."

"Have you seen that Steven Kelly guy?"

"Okay. So maybehecan pull it off. But he's one of the only guys in the world who can.Anyway, the bigger point is Jared is a complete jackass, and Veronica wantsmeto train him, sit next to him, be his damn babysitter, and take him under my wing, all so he can help me out and lighten my workload."

Mona looked at me like I had two heads. "And that's a bad thing?"

How did I explain to Mona that I was living my dream life right now as Cordelia? That I'd shed everything I hated about my old life and didn't want to change a damn thing? "If it was someone decent, I'd be fine with it. But he's the opposite of decent, and I've been so happy here, and I'm freaking out that that will all change because he's sitting literally right next to me, and we had this whole argument already in the elevator about who bumped into who before I even knew who he was, and he said my name is too long, and he wants to call me Dee and—"

"Wait. Hold up." She put a hand up in front of me to stop my verbal meltdown. "He won't call you Cordelia?"

"No! Isn't that ridiculous?"

She nodded, a flicker of dawning realization finally starting to take shape in her eyes as she grabbed both of my shoulders and pulled me in, staring me down. "Okay. Here's what you do. Go through everything with him as quickly as you can, and then pawn off your very worst project on him, some busy work maybe, something that will keep him super occupied, and he'll hopefully leave you alone. And if that doesn't work, we'll find a way to keep him out of the office as much as possible."

Her words slowly sunk into the edges of my panicky brain as she continued boring into me with her intense stare, her fingers digging into my poor shoulders. When I finally nodded, she let up and gave me a pat on the arm.

"We're in this together, babe. I won't abandon you in your time of need. We'll figure it out. Together. Okay?"

I inhaled deeply through my nose and let it out. "Okay."

"Now go back out there and take the bull by the horns. Or the mustache," she added with a laugh.

"Yes. Right. Okay. I will. But first I have to pee."

And while I was at it, I was going to time how long it took to say the name Cordelia.

Two

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