Page 121 of Keep Your Friends Close and Your… Work Enemy Closer?

"Well, with Venus, I was Cordelia. With Max and Veronica, I was Cordelia. But with other people that'll be there tonight, I've always been Annalise Stratton. And as Cordelia, I felt more myself than I've ever felt as Annalise. So who the fuck am I now?"

Watching my always kind sister struggle for something positive to say was usually something that I found highly entertaining. But not tonight. Not with so much on the line. Not when I hadn't been out of the house in weeks unless absolutely necessary.

That was the beauty of working from home. I could literally wear my pajamas all day, every day, and order anything I could ever possibly need or want to be delivered right to my doorman.

Who needed sunshine and fresh air anyway? They were totally overrated. As was human interaction. Because humaninteraction just led to heartbreak. I was completely happy to be by myself day after day after day for weeks on end. Yes, I was. Absolutely, I was. Yep, one-hundred percent.

"You're whoever you want to be. That's who you are," Astrid finally said. "Names don't matter. This is a chance for you to forge a new path forward and create whatever life you want."

"And what if that life is just being in my apartment all day long and eating junk food?"

"That's okay too. For a short time," she amended. "It's fine to wallow for a bit. But then, you've got to get back on that horse and ride it. Ride it hard."

Was my sister being dirty?

I stared at her and she burst out laughing. "Sorry. I couldn't help it. All I can think about is the winter ball coming up."

"Oh, God. You're not still going to go through with that, are you?" I clamped a hand over my mouth at the look on her face. Shit. I'd meant to keep my negativity and bad attitude to myself. Astrid most definitely didn't deserve it.

"Yes, I am," she huffed defiantly.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a total bitch right now. You should absolutely still go, and I one-hundred percent support you in your endeavor to get back on the horse and ride it hard." Maybe I could joke to cover up my asshole comment.

She smiled at me. "It's okay. I know you're hurting, and hurt people hurt people."

I inhaled a deep breath and blew it out. She was right, and I hated it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt those brave enough to still be around me. Why did we always lash out at the people closest to us, the ones we loved the most?

"I really am sorry." I turned to look at her instead of her reflection in the mirror. "And you know what? Tonight, I'm going to really make an effort to get myself out of this funk and hopefully find a way forward as my new self."

She patted me on the arm. "Good. That's a start."

After checking my outfit over one last time, admiring the beautiful black gown Astrid had created just for me, I found myself in a car heading for this big charity event that Venus had invited me to.

I'd asked her if Max was going and she said she wasn't sure. She'd extended invitations to both Veronica and Max, but she hadn't had time to check for their responses, having just returned to the U.S. a day ago.

I had to be honest. I didn't know whether or not to believe her. But I couldn't question her further, so I bit my tongue and tried to mentally prepare for the worst. And that was running into them, running intohim.

Then again, he hadn't mentioned a thing in his daily notes, and the Max I knew didn't seem like the type to keep secrets or keep things to himself. That was one of the things I liked—orhadliked—about him. He seemed like an open book, straightforward and honest, no games or messing around.

Except for the minor deception of hiding his actual fucking name.

Which I'd done too.Fuck.

I sighed, tugging at the full skirt of my dress, trying to cover the almost obscene amount of thigh the slit showed. If I shifted too much, yeah, people might get an eyeful.

At least, my sister had been able to miraculously make the corset comfortable, my boobs looking pretty damn amazing, if I did say so myself. Of course, nothing could rival Venus' cleavage. But I was doing the best I could for someone who'd lived in leggings for weeks and had only just now shaved for the first time since being shown the door at Insight Ink.

The car pulled up to the curb, my stomach knotting the way it always did right before big events like this. It was odd going inalone too, someone from my family usually joining me, but none of them were here tonight. I had only myself to rely on.

As the driver opened my door, I gave the slit in my dress one final adjustment, trying to avoid flashing anyone. I stepped out into the warm Manhattan night and headed toward the small crowd at the entrance, laughter and conversation echoing between the buildings.

I took a steadying breath in a useless attempt to prepare myself before moving forward into the glow of the light spilling out from the large doors. Once inside, music and voices merged together, filling the grand foyer with a buzzing energy that only served to multiply my nerves.

Straightening my shoulders, I reminded myself that this was for Venus. She'd asked me to be here, and there was no way in hell I'd say no. Gliding past a few familiar faces who gave me a friendly nod, I told myself I'd made it this far. Now all I had to do was survive the rest of the night.

Which was easier said than done.

What I needed was a gala buddy, someone to share a drink with while engaging in mindless chitchat. Surely I could find at least one person here that I knew and could tolerate.

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