Page 75 of Twenty Years Later

Jayda

Wednesday dawned. A full forty-eight hours with no word from Alex. Numbness was still with me. Thank God.

I spent the morning devouring cookies and hanging out with Audrey, leaving toys everywhere, making a huge mess all over. Maybe it was weird, maybe it was selfish, but I let her natural joy and happiness fill me.

And it worked. Kind of. Well, not really.

But at least while I was with her, I smiled. For her. And then it was time for an early lunch and preschool. I thought about what I'd do for those four hours she was gone.

Maybe I should try to work. Writing might help. The problem was my story was at a really dark place—kind of the darkness before the big finale and the light. And usually, when I wrote the dark stuff, I ended up crying. Not exactly what I wanted right now.

Maybe I'd actually shower. But did I even care?

I walked Audrey to school, not wearing a hat, because now a stupid hat reminded me of him. The wind was freezing in our faces, but Audrey didn't even seem to notice. I went through the motions of saying hello to her teacher and the other parents, then walked home, head down, dead inside.

And that's when it happened. That's when my phone rang. And it was Alex.

I hesitated, my heartbeat skittering all over the place. Did I really want to hear what he had to say? I noticed he had timed it for when Audrey would be at school.

Should I pick up? Just to hear him say he was back with Fiona?

After the fourth ring, I decided to answer. I might as well face whatever was in front of me. I didn't say anything, though. I just couldn't.

"Jayda?" he asked. "Are you there?"

I couldn't speak. "Mm-hmm."

"Jayda? You're really there?"

"I am," I whispered.

"Oh, my God, baby. I've been so worried about you."

What? He was worried aboutme?

"Why didn't you answer any of my emails?" he asked, his voice full of worry.

What on earth was he talking about? "Emails?" I managed to say.

"The millions of emails I sent you. Sweetheart, I left my phone at the Portland airport. Gabby had an epic meltdown."

I needed to sit down. I finally made it to my front door and keyed in, immediately collapsing onto the couch. "You lost your phone?" I squeaked out.

"I did. It was awful. And your number is impossible to track down, Miss Popular Author. And I was so crazy worrying about you."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did a little of both.

"And then I couldn't log into my cloud, and I got locked out. Then once I finally was able to log in, I discovered I hadn't backed up my contacts."

Honestly, I didn't even hear what he was saying. I was so incredibly happy just to hear his voice and know that he was fine.

"And work's been insane," he continued. "I finally had time to go to the Apple store a little bit ago, and it took two hours for them to figure everything out, get a new phone, and finally get your number, and I just got back to the clinic. It's been crazy. And I sent you so many emails, and you never responded. I was so worried about you."

I didn't think I'd ever heard Alex talk so much. And with every word that he said, relief flooded through me. My mind had gone down such a dark road, afraid I'd lost him, not sure I could handle another loss like that.But he'd only lost his phone. I could hardly believe it.

"You are okay, right, Jayda?" he asked, his deep voice vibrating through my phone.

I nodded then realized he couldn't see me. "I'm fine."

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