Page 63 of Twenty Years Later

She nodded as she swiped at some of her tears. "I'm the one who's sorry. I should have told you before. I was just being selfish."

"You were in no way being selfish," I said, attempting to reassure her.

But really, I wanted to shout. I wanted to yell. However,shewasn't the one I was angry at. I was pissed off at a dead man. Pissed off that there was no way to talk to him. No way to reason with him.

We were caught in the middle of this awful promise that had been spoken in someone's final moments, without thought maybe, without really thinking about the consequences, without thinking of how that would affect the rest of this woman's life, this woman who had so many years ahead of her, who was now pregnant with our child,ourchild. This woman I had been wanting since high school.

You know what? I wasn't going to let it stand. This was one of those promises that could be broken. It had been totally unfair to ask that of Jayda.

With that thought, I felt some relief. I'd do my best to convince her of that. I'd die trying to convince her of that. I wouldnevergive up. I just needed to go about it carefully and not freak her out. I needed to act with the precision of a surgical procedure. Time was what I needed most to figure it out.

In the meantime, I had to keep doing what I was doing, trying to convince Jayda that I was worthy of her, worthy of a life together.

Then a teary-eyed Jayda surprised me, glancing up at me, saying, "I mean, really, I already broke the one promise, didn't I?"

She smiled, and I couldn't resist smiling back. "Yep," I said. "Five times."

"Are you counting, Alex Hernandez?" She shocked me by laughing.

"Maybe." I grinned as I shrugged. "You're not?"

She giggled and moved in closer to me again. "I'll let you keep track."

"Oh, so you think there'll be more?" I asked, half-teasing and half-probing to see what she'd say, holding my breath.

Sighing and nuzzling back into my shoulder, she said, "I think I have a lot of thinking to do about that promise."

I let out that breath, my anger from before dying down as I felt her warm body melting into me, the intimacy of everything we'd shared making me feel so close to this woman beside me, closer than I'd ever felt to another soul on this planet. And I vowed once again to do whatever it took to keep her by my side.

***

The snow stopped falling, leaving behind stunning scenery right out of a painting, the whiteness taking away the darkness of night.

Jayda was quiet, and I wondered what she was thinking, whether that promise was still on her mind or whether she was reliving Blake's death again. I didn't know about her, but I was exhausted. The emotions of the day had been unreal from the absolute high of finding out that Jayda was pregnant—pregnant!—to the tears and anger just now.

"Are you all right?" I whispered against her hair, that scent of hers making me want to inhale her... all of her.

But she didn't answer. And I noticed her breathing was deep and even. I had to stifle a chuckle. Yep, I'd say she was even more exhausted than I was, which of course made sense with all the pregnancy hormones she was dealing with currently. I didn't want her to sleep on the couch tonight and have a bad night of rest, so I nudged her a little and she sat up.

"Oh, sorry," she said, sounding confused. "I didn't even know I was falling asleep."

"Let's get you upstairs."

She sighed and stretched before getting up from the couch. "That was a pretty emotional day, right?"

"Just a little," I said as she closed the curtains and checked the locks on the front door. "You definitely know how to entertain houseguests."

She shook her head, laughing at me, as she headed up the stairs with me following, trying to smother the intense physical reaction I had just from watching her go up the stairs in front of me. I felt like a horny teenager again.

At the top of the steps, Jayda reached for my hand. "Will you sleep with me tonight?" she asked me, her voice quiet.

For a second, I couldn't breathe. But as she watched me in the dim glow from the hallway nightlight, I realized exactly what she meant. "Of course. If you're sure."

Smiling, she leaned up close to my ear and whispered, "If I can't have you in me, at least I can have you around me."

God, what those words did to me. "Jayda, Jayda, Jayda. I'll be right in as soon as I take a cold shower."

She put her hand over her mouth, her eyes bright with laughter. "See you in a minute." And then she tiptoed down the hall to her room, leaving me thinking seriously about that cold shower.

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