Page 32 of Twenty Years Later

"Okay. Take a breath, Jayda. It's one missed pill. What about..." She looked back at her phone. "Did you throw up or get food poisoning or anything like that?"

Thinking back, there was actually a weird night recently where Audrey had thrown up spaghetti after dinner and then that made me get sick too. "Oh, God, yes."

Oh, wow, so I had somehow missed two pills? And then slept with sex on wheels with no condom? I put my head down between my knees and started to breathe, trying to stop the panic that pumped through me.

Kaileen put her hand on my back, moving in slow circles. "Jayda, Jayda, Jayda, you've got to chill, though. You don't even know for sure you're pregnant."

Yeah. I was pretty sure. But I didn't say anything, and after a few minutes, I sat back up, still attempting to calm myself.

"You want to get a morning-after pill when you get back?" Kaileen asked, searching on her phone again. "It says some you can take up to five days after sex. But the sooner the better."

The plane finally started to back out from the gate, and soon, we were heading down the runway as my mind fought for some kind of control amidst this mental hurricane. Releasing a deep sigh, I thought about the possibilities.

How unbelievably complicated would it be to have this baby? Of course, I'd have to tell Alex. And of course, he'd want to be part of this child's life, forcing us to manage this baby with two different households that were so far apart. How would that even work?

And then the other possibility—the morning-after pill. Stopping this soon after I landed.

Oh, I didn't know what to do!

"Jayda, you have a little while," Kaileen said. "Just chill and maybe by the time you get home, you'll know what to do."

That's true. I did have hours, including a layover in New York where I'd say goodbye to Kaileen before getting on my plane to Maine.

"And besides," she went on, "you get in late and can't do anything about it till tomorrow anyway. If you decide to do anything at all, that is."

She was right, of course, but if I was being honest with myself, the reality was I already knew what I was going to do.

I nodded at Kaileen's words, leaning back in my seat and hoping to rest. When I closed my eyes, the only thing I could see was Alex, like a movie playing on the inside of my eyelids. Alex laughing. Alex holding his daughter. The look in his eyes just before he kissed me. The pleasure on his face as we came together.

Oy, I had it bad. One weekend that had utterly changed my life.

Chapter Eleven

Alex

"Shi—" I stopped myself from cursing as I burned my hand on the hot pan while trying to hold a squirmy, grumpy Gabby with the other.

"Sorry, sorry, little squirt." I bounced her around a few times and tried to make her laugh by swinging her. Gabby started to cry. Nothing worked. Maybe she was just hungry?

"See? Mac and cheese on the way." I stirred the cheese in, and Gabby seemed interested... for a second. Then the crying got even louder.

Crap.

I hurried and grabbed a bowl, spooning up a serving. Man, I hated it when Gabby cried. Every single time, it felt like my heart was breaking a little.

"Okay, here comes the airplane." Still holding her, I blew on a spoonful to cool it down. "Gotta start the engine first. Vroom-vroom."

That stopped her. I aimed the spoon and made a big show about bringing it in, closer to her. Thank God she seemed into it, and the crying stopped. She opened her mouth a little.

"Coming in for landing."

Crash. She swatted the spoonful away, and it landed on the floor with a loud clatter. And then the tears started again. Even worse this time.

I let out a huge sigh. Not exactly what I needed after a long day of surgery.

Giving up on food, I put her against my shoulder and walked her around. Any time I tried to put her down, the crying turned into screams. So walking it was. Around the living room. Down the hall. Detour through the bedrooms. And back again.

It seemed to help. The crying quieted down. But whenever I stopped or even slowed my pace, it came back full force. So I kept on going.

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