Page 94 of Twenty Years Later

Jayda grabbed onto her back suddenly, bending over, taking deep breaths, and puffing air out through her nose. I moved closer, holding out a hand just over her back. And as I debated whether or not to touch her, she finally stood up, her face pink, her eyes watery.

"Whew, that was a rough one," she breathed out, stretching her spine.

"God, I'm so sorry. What can I do?"

Staring up at me, she sighed. "Nothing really. Just be here."

That I could certainly do.

The next several hours, we waited and waited as I attempted to comfort Jayda through the contractions while she continued to dilate. We had already asked for an epidural, but the anesthesiologist was super busy apparently, and it would be a while.

Damn, I had gone into the wrong field. What I wouldn't do to be able to relieve Jayda of this pain.

With each contraction, she would double over in agony, her whole body tense, not speaking, trying to breathe. I wanted to help, but she didn't want me near her. And that smile she usually wore began to fade as exhaustion and pain took over.

I paced the room, hoping the anesthesiologist wouldn't be too late. I knew we only had a certain window of time, and I couldn't imagine the amount of pain she'd endure without it. If I could take her pain and make it mine, I would do it in a heartbeat. But there was nothing I could do, and it drove me insane... especially because I was the reason she was in this situation to begin with.

Jayda stood beside the bed where she said she was more comfortable.

"Are you sure I can't do anything?" I asked from the now dark window on the other side of the room. "Cool compress? Massage?"

"If you touch me, I'll hit you," she hissed.

Oh, dear God. I kind of wanted to laugh at this feisty side of Jayda. But I knew not to let out a sound. She was totally on the edge from the pain. And honestly, she was scary. I couldn't wait till later, maybe months later, to tease her about it. My sweet Jayda had turned into a rabid tiger.

She threw her hands on the bed as she leaned over, and I knew another contraction had hit. I just stood there, feeling helpless. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the sheets. My hands itched to touch her, but Lord knows, I knew better than to even get near her. Or she might bite my head off. I found myself breathing for her, counting.

When it was over, she straightened herself, face red, hand on her back. "Do something!" she growled.

I approached her like I would a wild animal, hand out, cautious. "What can I do?"

"Find the anesthesiologist and tell him I'll hunt him down when this is all over if he doesn't give me the damn epidural now."

"Right. Right," I said as I edged past her toward the door, looking down the hall once again.

I'd already asked about the anesthesiologist multiple times and always received the same answer. But I'd do it again. I mean, seriously, where the hell was he?

Not wanting to move far from our room, I scanned the hallway, looking for a nurse, Jayda's doctor that we'd seen earlier, or just any goddamn person. And to my great relief, I spotted a man in a white coat coming our way.

Thank God. Instead of yelling at him like I wanted to, I shook his hand as he entered the room, Jayda letting out a huge sigh.

As he approached Jayda, apologizing profusely for the wait, she sat down on the edge of the bed, ready to go, and without delay, he went to work. I stood near Jayda and held my hand out to see if she wanted it.

To my relief, she grabbed my hand and squeezed hard. I knew part of her pain had been the worry about whether she'd get the epidural in time. And even though I knew it took a little while for it to kick in, I could already see the relief on her face.

But soon after the doctor was done, Jayda turned to me, her face pale. "I'm going to throw up," she whispered.

I scrambled to find something for her, and I rushed back, a disposable bag in my hand. When she was done, I found a wet cloth and wiped down her face. God, this poor thing.

"There is zero dignity in childbirth," she said, smiling up at me, making me chuckle.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

She took a deep breath before answering. "Thank you, Alex. You've been so incredibly supportive. And I'm really sorry if I was mean."

"You weren't mean," I lied because if there was ever a time to fib, this was it.

And now it was just more waiting. And more waiting. And even more. But at least this time, Jayda was comfortable.

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