Page 20 of Twenty Years Later

"Oh, God, Jayda, you are..." Alex said softly.

I leaned down to kiss him, increasing the pressure, increasing the pace, his hips meeting mine with every movement.

His hands moved to my breasts, caressing me, cupping me, then moved the length of my body, leaving behind fire wherever he touched. He sat up and held onto me, his arms clasping around me as we rocked our bodies together, swiveling our hips in a scorching hot rhythm, faster and then even faster as a raging wildfire built between us.

My breath hitched as I felt it—the tidal wave that was about to crash over me.

"Alex..." I whispered, not even sure what I was trying to say.

"Look at me," he said, his face so close to mine. I forced my eyes open. "Come with me."

Those words... those words and the raw emotion I could see in his eyes catapulted me off the cliff, making me lose all control.

He let out a shout, spilling his seed deep inside me as my body clenched around him, milking him. We clung to each other as, together, we rode the never-ending euphoria that rushed through our bodies.

Our steamy explosion seemed to last forever... with an absolutely gut-wrenching intensity that I'd never felt before. Finally,finally, the waves began to subside, and I still held on, shocked at what had just happened between us, stunned at how this man had made me feel.

I felt the moisture gather behind my eyes as my emotions overwhelmed me. And of course, I couldn't hide it from Alex whose face was only inches away.

He wiped a tear with his thumb. "Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes filled with concern.

I nodded, afraid to speak.

He kissed away a few more tears, then met my mouth with his, gently, sweetly, and I could taste the salt on his lips.

Pausing to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, he then lifted me off of him, pulling me up close until we were lying down, my head snuggled into the cozy spot between his arm and chest.

As we cuddled together, his hands caressing me softly, he asked, "Why the tears, sweetheart?"

I sniffled, trying to get it under control, especially because I didn't really know why. No reason really. Or a million reasons. Extreme pleasure. Amazement. Elation.

But absolutely topping the list? Guilt.

A heart-wrenching guilt that I had somehow betrayed Blake. Not that I thought I had done anything wrong. He was dead. Gone from this world. My brain knew I hadn't cheated. My mind knew that I'd done nothing wrong. I'd never betrayed our marriage vows, and I had wholly honored "till death do us part."

But deep down in my heart, in my soul, I felt awful. Because I couldn't help but compare Alex to everyone from my past, most especially Blake, since the guys before Blake were a little fuzzy at this point.

And what had just happened was beyond... well, beyond anything ever before. Like soul-shattering beyond anything.

Alex squeezed my arm and pulled me in closer. "Jayda? You're kind of freaking me out here."

"Sorry. Sorry. It's just... I'm going to be honest." I hated stupid misunderstandings just because people wouldn't have a potentially difficult conversation.

"What is it?" he asked.

I raised up my head to look at him. "I'm feeling a little guilty."

His eyebrows shot up. "Guilty? Why?"

Sighing, I wondered how to explain it. "I don't know. I guess I'm feeling kind of bad about my late husband," I whispered.

Alex stared at me for a long moment, then finally said, "God, Jayda, you're so damn sweet. That tender heart of yours has somehow managed to stay so kind. Always thinking about others and not yourself. Still."

I smiled at his unexpected response and his thought process. Of course, he didn't really get it. And I wasn't sure I had it in me to thoroughly explain it all as exhaustion crept up my limbs, my body completely sated.

***

Sometime in the night, I woke up to a fully dressed Alex kissing me lightly on my forehead. "I've got to go," he said as he handed me my phone. "You should set an alarm."

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