“Is that your horse?” Shep grunted as he looked towards the house. “How the hell did he get here?”
I gasped as I saw Bob jump over a section of fence like it was nothing and charged towards us. I took off at a sprint towards him, my heart swelling with the peace of his familiarity.
“Bob!”
He let out his own excited call and stopped just before plowing me over. He nuzzled his face into my neck and shoulder, chattering the way he always did when he hadn’t seen me in more than a few hours. I felt him chewing on my hair but I didn’t even care about that as I wrapped my arms around the parts of him that I could.
“How’d you get out, Bobby? Huh? Did Jolene let you out? Were you driving her nuts? Huh?” I rubbed his face and peppered kissed over his nose when he bent down for me. “I missed you, Bob. You’re so handsome, aren’t you? Who’s the best boy ever? You are! That’s right!”
“Anyone else want to be a horse right about now?” Shep’s dry remark made me laugh but I didn’t pull away from Bob.
“Well, shit.” Rhett sighed. “Looks like it’s not just Bob here to cock block.”
I shot him a wide-eyed look before looking behind Bob. There was my brother, Mills, marching towards us like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. I held onto Bob a little tighter.
“Why’d you let him follow you, Bob?”
“Isn’t this a pleasant surprise? What can we do for you, Mills?” Arlo stepped forward but Mills was focused on me.
He closed the distance between us and slapped Bob’s back flank before looking down at me with haunted eyes.
“I’ve done my best to give you time to heal, Max, but I need to know what you meant when you told these assholes that Mom hit you.”
Rhett growled like a giant guard dog and stepped closer.
“Don’t upset her.”
“Tell me, Maxie. I can’t stop thinking about it and I need to know you were just having a fever dream or something. Tell me that you didn’t mean it.” He gripped his hair and tugged hard. “Tell me!”
I flinched but I didn’t allow myself to cower. Maybe I was done being meek Maxie. That didn’t mean I would be cruel, though.
“Go home, Mills. Have you been sleeping? Eating okay?”
He grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
“Tell me, goddammit!”
Arlo shoved Mills away from me and planted himself between us. I could see him vibrating with anger as he stared down his friend and my brother.
“Do not fucking scream at her.”
“Get out of my way! That’s my sister!”
“I don’t give a fuck who she is to you. You aren’t going to scream in her face!”
I couldn’t handle the shouting. I wasn’t sure how they heard me but I knew they did when they both went silent.
“Stop it. If you want to know the truth, Mills, I’ll tell you.”
The sky was such a brilliant blue and the sun was so bright and warm that it felt wrong to dirty it with the truth but one thing I’d accepted was that I couldn’t keepeverythinginside. It felt like there were millions of fleas jumping around inside me, looking for the last raw spot to latch onto to suck whatever peace I had left out of me. My insidescrawledwith the secrets I kept.
“Mom… Mom wasn’t nice to me, Mills. She…” I took a deep breath. “She was angry so much of the time. Dad, too, but he died before he could become cruel. Mom hung on, though. She just wasn’t nice, Mills. I don’t know what else to tell you.”
“She wasn’t nice? That’s all you can say? She was rotting away with cancer, Maxie! You wanted her to benice?”
I saw Shep scowling and stepping closer to Mills and held up my hand to stop him.
“She wasn’t just not nice. She was mean. If you want to know everything, that’s too bad. There are things I’ll never say out loud for as long as I live. She hurt me. Shealwayshurt me. In the end, though, it changed from fat jokes and comments abouthow no one would ever love me to hitting me if her soup was a few degrees too hot or cold. It changed to admitting things, like the truth about Nellie’s father, because she knew it would eat me alive to hold that in.”