Page 76 of How To Fake A Fiancé

I scoff out of nervousness. “What is there to talk about?”

“My proposal isn’t a joke or something to manipulate you if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I never thought you were doing any of those things. You just…caught me by surprise.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

I hesitate. “Why?”

“Why propose to you?”

“Just…why me?”

“I think you already—”

I walk closer to the door. I can see the shadow of his feet underneath. “I remember what you said last night, but I don’t know why. Why are you feeling what you’re feeling?” I can’t believe him. I want to, but I can’t.

“From the moment I met you, your wit and spark is what attracted me to you. Despite our charade, your compassion and loyalty to the ones you love is something I’ve never seen in anyone before. I don’t think I can let go of someone who takes my fucking breath away every time I see her face.”

I shake my head. “Yes, but what is your reasoning? What logic is there? This is the first time in a decade that you get to live life. You get to start over and live it the way you want to. Why waste that on me?”

“I’m not wasting it. Not when what I want is right in front of me.”

He’s not listening. “You say that now…”

The grass is always greener on the other side.

“Is that what you think of me, that I have a wandering eye?”

I sigh. “You’ll want something better eventually.”

“You’re not your mom, and I’m not her ex who said you weren’t enough.” His words are like a gun that goes off without notice. “You’ve convinced yourself nothing good will last because you were constantly met with disappointment and heartbreak. Don’t let some cheating asshole tell you what you’re worthy of.”

I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve his love. “I’ll fuck it up, or something will happen between us that will rip you out of my hands.”

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”

I cross my arms over my chest, holding back my tears. “You seriously quoting that Hillary Duff princess movie right now?”

“Just because someone didn’t want you the way you wanted them to, doesn’t make you any less worthy of love. You are always brutally honest with the people around you, but you’re never honest with yourself. Admit it. You’re denying yourself what you want because you’re scared of making the same mistakes someone else made. You want to be wanted, but you’re also too scared to go after it.”

“I’m not scared,” I deny pitifully.

“You are so scared that you’d rather try to micromanage everyone else than deal with the fact that you’re lonely.”

His truthful words are like a sharp slap in the face. I unlock the door and pull it open. Ian’s solemn expression comes into view. “That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it, though?” He walks into the room, closing the door behind him. “Don’t close off your heart because you’re afraid.”

I stand in defiance. As much as I want this man, I don’t want to find out the hard way he doesn’t intend on being with me. He doesn’t see it now, but he’ll change his mind eventually. Why be a sitting duck? “I think you should leave.”

He pauses in thought as though he just realized something. “Is that why you had sex with me last night? You thought by giving yourself to me that I’d leave you for good. That I’d get my fill.”

I stand there in stunned silence. I should be happy we’re now on the same page, but instead I feel a pit in my stomach.

I’m hurting him. Why am I hurting him?

After a long moment of silence, he clenches his jaw, walks to his duffel bag, tosses it onto the bed, and starts throwing his clothes inside.

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