Page 23 of How To Fake A Fiancé

Somebody better be dying.

Of all the times for her to call, she chooses now? When I find myself intoxicated by this man and struggling to think straight?

My sister usually calls if there’s either an emergency or an update on the latest family drama. Usually the latter.

“Kami Kam! I’m so glad you picked up,” she yells into the phone. I hear loud music in the background at the other end. Where the hell is she?

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

“Everything is perfect, which is why I’m calling. I have something amazeballs to tell you.”

Should I brace myself? “And what’s that?”

“I eloped,” she squeals.

Wait, did I hear that right? I can’t hide my shock and horror. “You what?”

Ian takes a step forward immediately on the alert.

“Everything okay?” he mouths.

I wave him off, then turn my back to him.

“Alex and I eloped last night.”

I’m imagining the worst possible reason why my nineteen-year-old sister eloped with a guy I’ve never heard of.

My sister and my mother still believe in fairy tales. To them, happily-ever-afters can still happen. That someday their princes will come, and everything will be okay.

I warned my sister her hope for a fairy-tale ending would only end in heartbreak—just like it had for our mom—but clearly my advice has gone in one ear and out the other.

“Sofia, I need you to listen to me very carefully. How far along are you?”

“Geez, Kami. Don’t go there. I’m not pregnant.”

“Then who the fuck is Alex? When did this happen?”

She groans in annoyance. “Calm down, he’s not some guy I just ran into. I’m not that stupid. Alex and I have been together for almost a year. We’ve been living together since July.”

Has she lost her damn mind? “Sis, as cute as your little backstory is,”—which it isn’t—“can you get to the part where you thought eloping with a guy you’ve known for less than a year was a good idea?”

“Fine, Miss Impatient.”

I can imagine she’s rolling her eyes.

“Alex travels a lot for work. He was going to be in Vegas next week and asked if I’d go with him for a little weekend getaway. We got there, one thing led to another, and we decided to tie the knot. It was so spontaneous and incredibly romantic. When you know, you know, right?”

Spontaneous and romantic? More like irresponsible and incredibly idiotic.

Is she serious right now? What the hell is she thinking?

“How do you know this Alex? How old is he?”

“We met at a New Year’s Eve party through mutual friends. He’s twenty-three.”

“Sofia, when Bruno Mars says he’s looking for something dumb to do, he doesn’t actually mean it,” I scold her. “Does Mom know?”

“It’s not stupid. I love him. And I called her before calling you.”

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