Page 89 of Shadows of Ruin

“Are you all right?” I asked.

“Yes.” Kade took a few deep breaths and ran his hands through his hair. “Are you… Did I hurt you?”

I shook my head. He didn’t look at me though, so I voiced it. “You didn’t do anything to hurt me.” I frowned, looking over my shoulder out of the room before turning back to face Kade. “What was your father doing in here so late?”

Kade’s brow furrowed in confusion. “My father wasn’t here. I’ve been in this room alone since I left yours.”

I knew full well I didn’t imagine the king earlier. “No, Kade, you were not alone. I watched him leave your room. Your shadows came and got me, and they led me to you. I saw him leave and found you like—” I paused, refusing to saymonster. “Not yourself.”

I could see the wheels turning in Kade’s brain, the tick in his jaw, the furrowed brow. He took a moment before walking to his bed, sitting on the edge.

I gave him a minute to reflect before approaching him. “What do you think it means?”

He looked up at me, somber. “I’m not sure, but whatever it is, it’s not good. As much as I don’t want to believe it, I think it means my father is up to something more than just being a tyrant king. Whatever happened during the Blood Oath and whatever happened tonight are absolutely connected. He’s desperate to have me under his thumb.”

A knowing silence passed between us, and in that moment, I craved his touch. I wanted to soothe his anxious soul. Worry, guilt, frustration, all of it consumed him. It was almost like I couldfeelit rolling off of him.

As he sat there, looking defeated and confused, I wrapped my arms around him. He glanced sideways at me, and I reached for his face, bringing his head to my chest. Letting him hear my beating heart.

Even if the position wasn’t the most comfortable given our size difference, he didn’t pull away. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me. I held him there as his shadows wrapped themselves around my legs.

For as many times as this man had saved me, I could take a moment and provide him some comfort.

I had no idea how long I held him, but it still seemed too soon when Kade pulled away. He brushed a thumb across my cheek. “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“You didn’t.” I meant that. Even if he hadn’t been in his right mind, I knew now he wouldn’t hurt me. I trusted him.

I’d almost let him all the way back in. I’d told him the prophecy. Now I wanted to let go and trust him with all of it. I exhaled slowly.

Raya had told us Ian needed me to get to Valeford, which may have been news to the others, but not to me. If Kade and I were the key to figuring out this darkness, he needed to know everything.

“I need to show you something.” I removed my father’sletter from the pocket of my training pants. I always kept it on me, never wanting to part from his final words. Too afraid of who might see it and lose the one piece of my father I had left. I handed him the paper as I sat down beside him.

He watched me for a moment before I urged, “Go on, read it for yourself.”

Cocking a brow, he smirked. “Writing me love letters, Little Rebel? I’m flattered.”

I smacked his shoulder. “You ass, just read the letter.”

As soon as he was done reading, he folded the paper back up and returned it to me. I put it back in my pocket and couldn’t help but shed a tear in that moment. I knew what that letter said word for word now, I’d reread it so many times. While it may have hurt slightly less with each pass, showing Kade something so personal made me feel vulnerable. I experienced the letter in a different way now that someone besides me had read its contents. It was harder than I thought it would be.

“I am so sorry,” he said. “Receiving such news after what you saw, I—” He stopped talking and stood, moving a few steps away from me.

“It’s okay?—”

“It’s not.” He sighed, and though he made eye contact briefly, he looked away immediately. “It’s not okay that you went through learning this alone. Having to read about your parents instead of having them there to tell you.”

I swallowed, wiping away a tear that fell. “I’m not sure they would have told me.”

He kneeled in front of me, taking my hands in his. “I’m sorry that chance was taken from you. I’m sorry for the role I played.”

More tears fell, but neither of us stopped them. “I forgive you. I don’t know if that’s what you need to hear or not, but I don’t hate you anymore for what you did. And for the record,I believe you, Kade. If there had been any other way, I know you would have found it.”

He squeezed my hands. “No matter what happens, we’re leaving tomorrow. Whether Raya’s plan works or not. I’m taking you and we’re leaving. We’ll get to Ian, then to Valeford, and wherever else we need to go.”

“Cassandra made it seem like we needed to be here to solve the prophecies.”

“I don’t care,” he said with fierce determination. Reaching toward me, his hand gently caressed my cheek. “I don’t care about what anyone else needs or wants. I care about whatyouneed. The rest, we can figure out as we go.”

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