Page 36 of Shadows of Ruin

He stared at me, meeting my gaze, unflinching. “Your father knew his time had come. You saw for yourself Lord West can siphon others’ magic. The king believed—truly believed—the plan was for Lord West to steal his magic. If that happened, no one would stand a chance against the dark ones and whoever led them.” Kade’s lip twitched. “Andras in particular.”

He took a breath, his eyes flashing with a deep, devastated look.Pain. That couldn’t be right.

“I said no, Lana. I told him I couldn’t. He begged me to do it. He said they’d take you—” Kade stopped, clearing his throat. “The dangers of letting them have him, his power were too great. He made me promise to make sure he couldn’t be brought back. Then he told me to look out for you, and I vowed to, with my life. When I hesitated to go through with his request to end his life, he helped me guide the blade into his heart.”

My hand trembled as my lip quivered, but I swallowed it back. Grimacing, I steeled myself against the emotions. Emotions had done nothing for me before. They hadn’t saved anyone I loved.

Kade didn’t take the opportunity to move, even as my body shook in anger, loosening the foothold I had pinning him to the ground. He stayed under my blade, even though both of us knew it wouldn’t take much for him to gain control. “When you came in and he somehow remained alive, I finished it because I promised him I would. I wish there had been any other way. I wish I could take away the pain it caused. To never, ever have done something to hurt you so deeply.”

“Why would you agree to protect me? Or do anything my father asked? You’ve never spoken highly of the king,” I asked, needing the answer.

“I was wrong about your father. He’s one of the bravest men I’ve ever met,” Kade said firmly. “And you know I’d give my life to protect you, and not just because of the vow I made to your father.”

“Don’t,” I commanded, finding the strength I needed. Iwouldn’tgo there with this man. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? This could all be an elaborate lie, and I’d never know because the only person who could corroborate it died.”

“You’re right. I have nothing to offer to prove myself. Iswear to you it’s the truth. While here, you’ll find many things about me that you didn’t know. But it won’t change this truth, Little Rebel.”

We stared at each other, and his unyielding gaze seemed so convincing.

The grey in his eyes called to me, begging me. Something deep within me thrummed to life processing Kade’s words, urging me to believe him. Even though I didn’t want to.

“Your father died to save you—and his mate.”

I dropped the dagger, the breath from my chest gone. “What did you say?”

“There’s no way he should have been able to say it, except for a blessing from the Fates themselves at his sacrifice. But in the end, he spoke with conviction of the queen being his mate. I—” He exhaled. “I thought you should know that he loved you as much as he loved hismate.”

Tears pooled in my eyes, and I slumped forward onto Kade’s chest. The hate and anger I’d desperately clung to dissipated. He seemed so sincere. It made everything worse. I didn’t want his words to make sense, but if my mother and father had been mates, it did.

I had beenso closeto trusting Kade with my entire soul, to loving him. To giving him my heart. Yet he killed my father, then killed the people in the square without a moment’s hesitation. How could the man who stole my heart and the murderer be one and the same?

I wanted Ian to be here. He would know how to navigate the onslaught of information. He’d be here to catch me as I free-fell from the overwhelming feelings this brought. He’d help me discern the truth.

Emotions overtook my common sense, my body shuddering with a sob. Kade moved slowly, like he thought he’d scare me away with his movements, before he brought his hands up to me, wrapping his arms around me. The gesture snapped me out of it long enough to scramble off of him.

“Don’t touch me,” I cried, suddenly desperate to regain my controlled facade.

I had to get away. I wouldn’t be vulnerable.Couldn’tbe vulnerable. Not with him. Allowing him to comfort me would betray my father. Good reason or not, this man killed him. And many others, based on today’s ordeal.

The jumble of thoughts in my head banged around so much I wanted to scream.

“Please,” he whispered. “Don’t hide from me. Let me help.”

“You’ve done enough.” I stood, embracing the sharp twisting pain separating from his touch brought, and ran from his room, stumbling into my own.

I needed time. Space.

The king and queen had been mates.

The love I’d witnessed my entire life, the love I pined for, had been the truest form of love. A love that shouldn’t exist. And my father loved me with that same fierceness.

The man who took me in without hesitation and raised me as his own.

The man who gave his life to keep me safe.

I fell onto my hands and knees inside the room across the hall and screamed, letting the wretched noise force itself from me.

I crawled to the bed, pulling myself up before I collapsed in a heap. A useless lump of a Fae, stuck in this Fates-forsaken world with this Fates-forsaken man and his followers.

---