Page 103 of Shadows of Ruin

With that, Raya stood abruptly, forcing me to lean away from her. Without a word to the others, she fled the fireside and retreated to her tent. I couldn’t help but notice her hand wipe away another tear.

Jax slapped his knee as he stood. “Well, for once, Raya’s right. We need to rest.”

He said his good nights to Kade and Storm, both of whom stayed strangely silent during the exchange, and headed toward his tent. I still kneeled, staring at Raya’s tent, knowing I wouldn’t get more information. A swell of jealousy rose in me that she’d seen them, which was absurd. If she spoke the truth, I’d see them tomorrow, if we pushed the horses hard enough.

A hand touched my shoulder. “We’ll see him tomorrow, Lana.” Storm squeezed reassuringly. “I’ll take first watch. Rest. As much as you can.”

He stepped away from me, settling by the fire.

I stared into the depths of the sky, the stars glistening so beautifully, though they did nothing to quell the worry filling every fiber of my being. My thoughts spiraled, wondering what Raya wasn’t telling me, knowing it could not be good—whatever it was. But she did say Ian was all right, and he had others with him. Which meant Kalliah could be with him too.

A soft tendril of shadow caressed the back of my head, turning me to face Kade, who stood behind me. “Come on, Little Rebel, let’s get some sleep.”

He reached his hand toward me. I looked up and as soon as I saw his face, I let the tears pooling in my eyes fall. His compassionate expression broke the fragile hold I had on my emotions. Relief, mixed with a heavy fear at what Raya left unsaid, poured out as my hand touched his.

I grasped it firmly, willingly, needing his comfort in this moment, as he led the way to the tents.

“Pick—mine or yours,” he said quietly. “But you are not sleeping alone tonight.”

“I want you with me,” I whispered. The truth settled in my chest. After last night, I realized the times in his arms in Brookmere hadn’t been flukes. Being with him made me feel safe, and I needed to cling to that feeling. I wasn’t sure I could give it up again. Certainly not right now.

He tugged me toward his tent, and I answered the question in his gaze with a slight nod.

As soon as we entered, he sat on his oversized bedroll, pulling me close. I let him wrap his arms around my center as our bodies burrowed into each other. He brushed my hair down from my face, over my neck.

“I’m sorry for bringing you here,” Kade whispered in my ear.

I didn’t know what to say, so instead of answering, I clasped his hand around my waist and squeezed.

“I’m sorry for everything, Illiana. For kidnapping you, for exposing you to my terrible father, bringing you to Mysthaven, taking you away from your friends. For what happened to Ian, your father. All of it. I should have been more truthful with you sooner about my prophecy.”

I rolled over to face him, pushing a strand of his hair out of his face. “I know you are.” I paused, realizing I needed to say these next few words out loud. For Kade as much as myself. I’d told him I forgave him for my father, but we hadn’t discussed everything else. “I forgive you for all of it. I didn’ttell you about my prophecy, and I know firsthand the burden of carrying one.”

He ran his fingers over my face, then my neck. “I don’t know how to open up to others well. But the minute you became more than a line in a prophecy, I should have tried to find a way.”

I intertwined my fingers with his. “I forgive you,” I said again.

His eyes closed and he inhaled. “I don’t know if I deserve your forgiveness.”

“You can have it anyway,” I whispered before cradling the back of his head and bringing his mouth to mine.

Though the ever-present spark ignited at our touch, he kept it sweet and tender. The kiss did not last nearly as long as it should have before he broke our connection and placed his forehead against mine.

“I promise myself to you. To only you. Whether you want me or not is your choice, but I swear to you there will be no more lies, no more secrets.” He stroked his thumb across my cheek. “You have every part of my heart. Every part of my being, Little Rebel. To do with as you wish.”

My lip quivered as I soaked in the feelings swelling inside of me. The words he spoke hovered in the air like an unbreakable vow, swirling around us as if sealing something bigger than both of us.

“I think—” The tremor in my voice made me swallow. “I think there are quite a few things I wish to do with that declaration, Kade Blackthorn.”

He huffed out a laugh, his chest rumbling against my body. “Dirty girl.” He squeezed me tighter to him. “Prepare yourself for everything you wish for and more. When I take you again, Little Rebel, you had better be sure it’s what you want. Because there will be no coming back from it after.”

I shivered in anticipation. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“You need to sleep,” he cleared his throat, promptlychanging the subject even though I could feel how hard he was as he lay next to me.

I sobered. “I don’t know if I can. I’m so grateful Ian escaped, but something’s wrong.”

“I know.” Kade ran his hand through my hair. “But if Raya said Ian’s safe, then he is. She wouldn’t lie.”

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