Page 38 of Blooms of Darkness

“Going, going, gone, so soon, are we, Lana?” she questioned.

“Yes, I needed some air,” I said. “It was starting to feel stuffy.”

“The umbra isn’t always a blight. No, no.” She shook her head and then smiled. “Not with the right blaze.”

I stared back, placating her with the kindest smile I could muster. We had all learned over the years the best way to deal with Vivienne is just to let her talk and prattle. Apparently, ever since she made the prophecy ruling my entire life, nothing she said made much sense, with everything coming out in riddles. Every once in a while, she would have moments of clarity, but they were rare.

“I will be sure to keep it in mind, Vivienne. Have a good night.” I backed up a few paces and veered down the hall before she could say anything else and trap me there even longer with her nonsense. I couldn’t even be sure if she noticed I left as she toyed with the fraying ties of her robes.

Ian hadn’t made it too far from the throne room. As soon as the small hallway door dumped me out into the main corridor, I found him, staring out the largest window in the hall, his foot perched on the bench beneath it, hands resting on his hips. He appeared stoic in the moment, still in a way he usually wasn’t.

He noticed me and I caught his shoulders sag slightly.

Lifting my hands in surrender, I offered a small smile. “I don’t want to fight.”

His lips twitched and he returned his focus to the window, shaking his head. “After everything we’ve been through, I find I’m frustrated you don’t understand I take protecting this kingdom, and you, very seriously.”

“I know you do?—”

“Lana,” Ian said, facing me. “What is so hard for you to grasp? I promised you I’d never leave.” Loyalty and stubbornness swirled in his eyes. “I swore it as a boy, and I have worked hard to never break your trust or falter in my promise. Don’t you remember?”

I did remember. I remembered being a lonely child. Lonely and scared I had no magic while everyone around me did. Fearful adults who should have been trustworthy had instead thought my lack of magic needed to be fixed by any means necessary.

Ian had been with me throughout the aftermath of all my “training sessions” growing up, picking up the pieces from the torture I endured for years. Holding me in the dark while I cried in his arms. Making sure Elisabeth remained close if I needed a sleeping potion for the nightmares plaguing me.

When the potions didn’t chase away all the fears, Ian never left, holding onto me and promising me he’d never leave.

He stayed. He soothed. Despite the years of respite after the torture in the cells beneath the castle ended, he never made me feel as if I were a burden.

Because of his unwavering support, I couldn’t take this away from him. He’d given enough of himself, enough of his life, to me already.

“You’ve already sacrificed your childhood protecting me, Ian. I don’t want to watch you give up your future, too.”

He frowned, turning as he cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb along my face. “We were both lonely children and neededeach other. Caring for my best friend wasn’t a sacrifice. It never will be.”

What could I say to make him hear me? Panic gripped me. He was so damn stubborn.

“The rumors are bad enough, you were handed your position because you’re ‘sleeping’ with me, Ian. They’ll doubt even more how hard you’ve worked, and I hate it,” I said, touching his arm when he dropped his hands from my face.

Ian smiled down at me, shaking his head. “I don’t care what any of them think. My duty to protect you extends to this as well, and unless there’s someone worthy in the trials who captures your attention, then I’ll win and that will be that.”

I wrinkled my nose, growing agitated. “What about someone worthy of you?” I asked. “What if a few years into this you meet your mate?”

“My mate?” Ian burst into laughter. “You’re the only person I know who even believes in mates anymore.”

I glared at him, defensiveness welling inside me on top of the already-rising tide of desperation.

His gaze softened. “Mates haven’t existed in thousands of years. Only a few Fae have ever come close to feeling that inexplicable pull of true love. Even the king and queen had an arranged marriage. Waiting for a mate would be a lonely existence.”

Arguing with him would get me nowhere, so I had to go back to something more tangible.

“And what about not being unable to be Captain of the Guard and?— “

Ian shoved off the ledge and walked away from me. “It’s done, Lana. I've officially entered the trials. The conversation is over.”

We rounded a corner to a split staircase, one leading down to the barracks, one up to the guest wing. I had to jog to catch up.

“You can’t walk away from me, please don’t do this,” I shouted, perhaps a tad too loud.

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