Page 13 of Blooms of Darkness

Ian howled out a laugh, even though Kalliah batted the pillow away.

I giggled until I saw the deep red color on my hands. A stain.

Blood.

My smile disappeared as I stared at the reddish tinge and the crust around my nails.

To my right, the mattress sank. Ian’s strong, calloused hand took mine in his own. “We would have died if we hadn’t fought.”

“I killed him,” I whispered, still staring at my bloodied hands. “Is it real?”

Ian brushed his thumb over my knuckles. “Real as roses,” he said softly, using a phrase we’d established long ago.

Kalliah joined us on the bed, taking a seat at the foot. She remained quiet, observing in silent support.

“Technically, I did all of the work, so don’t take all the credit.” Ian lightened his tone, attempting to alleviate the mood, but the heaviness in his words let me know this was hard for him, too.

“It feels wrong,” I whispered.

Ian gently tugged my shoulder toward him, and I fell into a hug. “I’d be more concerned if it felt right after your first kill.” He paused. “You will get through this pain. And, if you are faced with a fight again, you know you’re able to defend yourself, as long as you can keep yourself focused.”

“He’s right,” Kalliah said. “And with the way you’ve been taking chances lately, I have a feeling you’ll be getting into plenty more confrontations.”

Ian nodded in agreement. “I think we should probably increase training, given what happened. I’d ask you to not go to any more Henchman meetings, but I know how that’ll go over.” He rolled his eyes at his last comment. Our arguments over the supply drops never ended.

“I’m not letting one little scuffle deter me from going on future drops.”

I refused to concede. I needed this bit of freedom, or I’d go mad inside the palace walls. I needed to know something I did mattered to the people of my future kingdom.

“I still think it’s careless,” Kalliah chimed in as she fiddled with her apron. She met my gaze with an earnest look in her eyes. “You came up with the idea, which is more than anyone else did. Now you should leave Ian and his tagalongs to handle Henchman activities.”

Kalliah rose from the bed and crossed the room, her chestnut-brown hair swaying as she flicked it over her shoulder. “Especially since you almost got yourself killed. I don’t understand how you can continue to take such risks,” she huffed,her friendly concern morphing into what seemed to be fearful anger.

“Kalliah, deep breaths. We made it out alive.”

In our trio, Kalliah was the only one of us who behaved like they belonged in a Royal Court. Her political acumen and level-headedness helped keep Ian and I in line.

Most of the time.

I glanced at my hands once again. Ian rose and squeezed my shoulder. “Take a minute to wash up. We’re right here.”

He followed Kalliah out of my bedroom, through the door leading to the main sitting area. I didn’t want to be alone anymore, so I quickly jumped out of my gloriously large four-poster bed and left the confines of my bedroom. Jogging across my chamber entrance, I bypassed the sitting area, and into the washroom, closing the door behind me.

I grabbed the lavender scrub and scoured my hands. The grit on the soap removed the particles of blood from my skin, even if it did make my hands raw. As I scrubbed, I tried not to think. Water ran red beneath my hands until I finally scraped the last bits from underneath my fingernails. The reminder I’d killed someone would stay with me forever. The pain it took to clean the blood seemed a small price to pay for a life.

I killed a man.

Inhaling deeply and exhaling four times to gather myself, I glanced in the mirror, expecting something to appear different. But the reflection still showed the same Lana.

Now, I was a killer as well as a liar to my kingdom.

I am Illiana Dresden. I am stronger than the darkness within me.

I didn’t look in the mirror again, but I did stand straighter and exit the washroom.

Kalliah and Ian were still taunting each other.

“Speaking of Ian’s tagalongs,” I began, searching for a moment of normalcy. “Last I checked, one of those tagalongs, with the bright-blue eyes, and hunky arms, convinced you to train with us a few months ago.”

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