Page 118 of Blooms of Darkness

Those shadows and the warmth of his body provided the safety I had been wanting for so long. The safety I craved. The safety I had lost when Elisabeth was murdered. The safety that not even Ian could provide, even after all of our years of friendship.

A feeling given to me by someone who I barely knew. One I had known for mere weeks.

A stranger who now held my darkest secret and could destroy my life in a moment.

As he rubbed my back, pulling me into his body, I had the thought perhaps he wasn't such a stranger at all anymore.

Perhaps, he was the kind of man I could trust with my heart, and my kingdom.

Chapter 33

My nerves were shot.

I hadn’t slept at all, even with Kade beside me. When he finally snuck out of my garden early this morning, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

I’d been too scared to ask him if he wanted to win the trials. If he wanted to be chosen.

Part of me feared the answer would be no, which only made it worse.

At the same time, he hadn’t run. He’d comforted me and stayed, even after finding out I lacked any sort of magic. It had to count for something.

Now, here I was, marching up the stairs toward the pavilion, where I’d watch the final trials and determine from the winners who would become Brookmere’s King.

Kalliah walked beside me, step by step, giving me space while providing her unyielding, silent support.

I had barely touched my breakfast while Kalliah prepared me for today. Today, I wore structured armor. One which made me appear fierce, my hair braided tight into a coronet upon my head. While I knew wearing fitted dark pants and my finest purple and gold tunic would be frowned upon by my parents andAndras, too much had occurred, and I needed to be prepared if something happened again.

It wasn’t only that, though. Whomever I chose today to be the future King of Brookmere needed to know they were going to be marrying a warrior. One who wouldn’t be told to sit on the sidelines. Magic or not.

My appearance radiated strength, and I’d pull from it to force myself to feel it, too.

I couldn’t be certain my father had the kingdom under control after the attack during the previous trials, but at least I could hide a dagger or two upon my person much easier this way if anything went wrong.

Kalliah, who was unreservedly disgusted by my choice of clothing before I explained my reasoning, had still opted to wear a fitted corseted dress, flowing with layers of blue tulle. She would have made a great princess.

I didn’t let go of her hand as we reached the steps before the pavilion overlooking the arena. My breath faltered as I attempted to place my foot on the first step. Unable to move, my body froze in fear. The trials cost me Elisabeth.

I clutched my stomach as it churned, and my chest tightened. Losing her was too much. I couldn’t make it up the stairs and face another trial. Not without her. What else would be taken? My heartbeat pounded in my ears, drowning out the world around me.

Kalliah shuffled around before reaching toward me, quickly adjusting my belts and buckles to provide me a moment to regain my composure. Despite some of her brashness, it was her empathy and kindness that allowed us to have such a close friendship. She made my hesitation seem to those passing as though she was adjusting my outfit, giving me the space to breathe when I needed it most.

“You are Illiana Dresden. You are strong. You are worthy. You are a damn princess, born to rule this land,” she whispered while the guards looked on from the left suspiciously.

“I miss her.” I shut my eyes, letting my grief roll over my shoulders and down my back.

Kalliah knelt, pretending to adjust my shoe. “Elisabeth may have been taken from this world, but she can never be taken from your heart. She willalwaysbe with you. With all of us who choose to remember.”

Taking several deep breaths, I grounded myself, sinking my short heels deeper into the dirt below me. I let myself feel the soft ground, the floral scent sprinkled in the warm wind.

What do you see?Elisabeth’s voice rang in my ears.

Kalliah’s determination shone on her face, portraying how much she believed we’d be okay. My people’s cheers in the arena may have been from excitement at the entertainment of today, but I knew they were worthy and honored the throne.

What do you feel?

Scared. Nervous.

But not alone. Kalliah was right. I was the damn crowned princess, and I would not falter now. I looked down at her as she worked the laces of my shoes. Exhaling slowly, she looked up, straight into my eyes.

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