Page 31 of Secret Hudson

“Royce! Royce, over here. Do you have a minute to chat with me?” A tall blonde wearing a skin-tight platinum colored dress is waving her microphone in my direction.

“Absolutely. Mandy, right?”

She smiles broadly, and I know I got her name right. At least there’s one thing I haven’t fucked up about this evening.

“So nice to see you again, Royce. You’re looking handsome as ever. And tell me, who is this lovely woman by your side?” She winks and holds the microphone toward me.

“Thank you, thank you. You’re as beautiful as ever, yourself.” I turn halfway toward Francis to make sure she has her game face on. “This amazingly sexy lady here with me tonight is Francis Hollister.”

“Francis, pleasure to meet you. Tell us single girls out here, what does it take to land a rock and roll hottie like Royce Lemmi?”

I hear a distinct snort behind me, but I ignore it and hope like a motherfucker, Francis and Mandy do the same.

Francis laughs. “I’m afraid I don’t have any good inside info, Mandy. I kinda landed this guy by default.”

“Francis is a member of our management team,” I explain.

“Damn, that’s two of you boys lost to management now. Well, there you have it girls, you want to land a rock star, you gotta get yourself on their payroll.”

Another audible snort.

“Before I let you catch up with the rest of the Finding Nolan crew, tell me Royce, what can we expect from tonight’s performance? Any hints?”

With everything going on, I temporarily blank on the whole fucking thing. I couldn’t have told Mandy if we weredoing anything out of the ordinary, let alone what fucking song we’re even doing. Thankfully, Francis jumps in to cover for me.

“You know he can’t give anything away, Mandy. That would ruin the surprise. But I will tell you this, if people have been digging the tour thus far, they’re going to flip when they see the performance tonight!”

And then I remember. We’re doing a compilation of songs. Like the entire fucking concert rolled into one performance. It’s going to be crazy. And really fucking awesome if we manage to pull it off. Which we will. Provided I don’t forget again between now and then.

Mandy and I exchange the polite cheek and kiss business and then Francis and I are free to go. The trip down the red carpet seems to last an eternity, but with each little meet and greet we do, Francis and I fall more comfortably into our fake relationship and by the time we’re walking into the building, she has her hand firmly on my ass while my arm is comfortably snaked around her tiny little waist. Isn’t like I’m getting turned on by any of it, it’s hilarious to me more than anything. Until I catch a glimpse of Hudson’s face.

Then, to make matters worse, I realize Francis sees it, too. Instantly, her hand drops from my ass and she takes several steps out of my embrace.

“I’m sorry. I was just messing around,” she mumbles. “You know that, right?”

Hudson’s brow lifts in acknowledgement, but he says nothing. Just turns and starts shooting Blaise and Ava, who are completely entangled in an embrace which can only be described as disgustingly romantic. Naturally, I feel like an even bigger piece of shit. Not only that. I’m crushing my own fucking heart inthe process. I want that. I want to be standing here, sharing the night with Hudson. Not playing fucking pretend with Francis.

“Did you work this out with him ahead of time?” I hear her hiss in my ear.

“Did I work what out with whom?” I don’t know why I think playing dumb will be helpful at this point.

“Don’t dick around with me, Royce. Your boyfriend looks devastated and I’m experiencing flashbacks of what it felt like when I found out my ex had a wife. From her. I don’t like the feeling, Royce. Not one iota of it. So you better fucking tell me right now what’s going on.”

“Please, Francis. Just fucking be a friend. I can’t do this right now. Not here.” But she isn’t going for it. “Come on. It’s not like I’m cheating. And you’re nobody’s other woman for fuck’s sake.”

“Then why do I suddenly feel like one?” She’s still scowling at me, but at least she lets me get close enough to her to be able to keep our conversation relatively private.

“Look, he doesn’t understand. Okay? He doesn’t get what it’s like. What it means to be a fucking public figure and the fucking hoops I have to jump through to maintain some sort of goddamn privacy. Which, incidentally, I don’t think is too much to ask for. Why should the whole fucking world have to know about my love life? Huh?”

She shrugs. “I think the bigger question is, why are you trying so fucking hard to hide your love life from the world? The word ‘love’ in love life implies that you love something. Most people aren’t ashamed of that. Quite the opposite actually. Mostly people seem to be annoyingly and disturbinglyproud to display their heart’s desire for the world to see.” She gives an obvious glance in Blaise and Ava’s direction.

“Yeah, well. If most people got stuffed in lockers with the word fag spray painted across the damn door, they’d have a little less pride to work with too.” The words sort of slip out involuntarily. Airing my most humiliating business isn’t generally my style, but in this case, it pays off. Francis changes her tune. She understands.

“Fine. You want me to be your decoy and keep you from popping up on people’s gay-dar, I will. But I’m telling you, Royce, you’re going to regret having asked me to.” She takes my hand, still shaking her head, and I lead her out into the auditorium where we take our seats.

She’s right. I know she’s right. I just can’t do shit about it.

HUDSON

---