Page 21 of Secret Hudson

Blaise seems to be fighting his gag reflexes temporarily, but I just grin, reaching my hand back and twining my fingers with Hudson’s. This is different. And I totally dig it.

Hudson and I lower ourselves down onto the couch again, my hand still placed firmly in his, like it belongs there or something.

Ava perches herself on the armrest next to me, placing her feet in my lap while Angel stretches out on the love seat since Derek is MIA for the time being.

I nod toward the door he disappeared through. “I see Derek’s getting plenty of use out of his new phone. I thought we agreed not to give Sammy that number.”

“He caved.” Ava stares down at her hands like she’s checking out her manicure. Except she never gets one, so that isn’t it.

Blaise snorts. “That’s such bullshit. It was you. You gave her the number.”

She throws her hands up in a desperate defense. “I had to! Bitch was driving me crazy! She just kept calling me. All. The. Fucking. Time.”

Angel shakes his head, clicking his tongue at her. “Sad, Ava. Really sad.”

“Oh, whatever. I was going to give her Francis’s number, but then I thought, none of us can afford for her to quit, so I had to hand the crazy back to Derek. He married her. This is his for better or worse.” Except we all know she doesn’t mean it. It’s his for worse alright, but even without the vows, we’re just as married to her as he is, so it’s our ‘for worse’ as well.

“So...not to interrupt, because I’m glad we’re no longer talking about my body parts and what I am and am not allowed to do with them in the common area, but I was actually really curious to hear more about what you want me to do while I’m here,” Hudson says, hand raised like he’s in school. It’s fucking adorable. And hilarious at the same time, because no one is ever that polite, and Ava’s resulting expression is priceless.

“Thank you, Hudson. I’m so glad someone around here has the attention span to recall the things I say.” That isn’t reallyanyone’s problem. It’s more a lack of interest in hearing them in the first place.

Our little band meeting goes on for almost an hour, during which Derek finally joins us and even participates with a boost in enthusiasm that’s unusual as of late. By the end, we’re all pretty clear on how things will be going down. Hudson will tag along on every gig, every interview, every everything. Then, during our downtime, it’s up to his discretion to determine what is worthy of lens attention and what isn’t. As far as the rest of us are concerned, Ava basically tells us to suck it up and just deal with having a camera pointed at us twenty-four/seven for the next two months. Easy for her to say, she’s been very specific about this book being about the band only. According to her, no one will want to know about the manager. Even if she is boinking the lead singer. A shit ton of TMZ coverage would suggest otherwise, but she’s more comfortable with denial since it’s more in tune with her desires to not be in pictures. Ever.

By the time things are all settled and agreed upon, Darrel is pounding on the door to pick us up for our meet and greet. And I make my first mistake when I drop Hudson’s hand from mine the second Darrel enters.

HUDSON

I feel Royce’s hand release mine the moment the door opens. Maybe it’s coincidence. Maybe he was just startled by the loud knocking. Or maybe...maybe it’s something more. Obviously, he’s out in front of his friends, but I know that publicly it’s not common knowledge that the man isn’t straight. Quitethe contrary actually. Most of my female friends would vie for his attention given the chance. If it hadn’t been for the way he smiled at me that first morning we met, and Ava’s comments, I wouldn’t have guessed any different. But I sort of just assumed staying in the closet publicly is more of an omission than an outright façade. Are there really people in his immediate circle who don’t know he’s gay?

It’s automatic and completely undesired, but my mind instantly travels back to Paul. I can’t do that again. I won’t hide who I am or keep my feelings for someone a secret. It just isn’t in me to be that way. And I have no intentions of changing that. Not even for Royce.

CHAPTER TEN

ROYCE

The next few days practically fly by, and thanks to our insane schedule, the dumbass moment of panic I had when Darrel showed up, goes by unaddressed and is swept under the proverbial rug along with so many other things I keep down there.

It isn’t until our last night on American soil that shit really hits the fan for the first time.

“You were fucking amazing out there. I can’t wait to download the pictures from tonight. I know I got some incredible shots of you.”

I’m starting to think that walking into my dressing room after a show to find Hudson here waiting for me is the best part of my night.

“Thanks. The energy out there was nuts. It’s a good thing we have a plane to catch. Judging by the crowd out there, we’re in for one hell of an after party. Ava’s gonna like having an easy out.” I peel off my shirt and throw it in the open duffle bag on the floor.

“Mm, I like this look.” His hands are gripping my hips, tugging me over to meet his.

“Yeah?” I nip at his bottom lip. We’ve spent every night in the same bed together since he got here, but we both made thedecision to hold off on actually having sex. Moments like these I can’t fucking remember what for.

Then, the knock subsequent to the door being nearly broke down reminds me. We never have more than a few seconds of goddamn privacy.

“Why are you half naked again? Seriously. Start fucking already so I can stop finding you two acting like horny teenagers every time I turn around.” Ava throws me a shirt from the clothing rack. “Wear this one. Brings out your blue eyes and the chicks’ll go nuts over it. Be ready in three minutes. We gotta get this show on the road so we can get the hell on it.”

Then she’s gone again.

“You know, I’m almost getting used to that.” Hudson grins, his face still no more than an inch from mine. I like it here. For someone who’s always been very particular about his personal space, I don’t seem to have any objections to Hudson being in it. Ever. It’s comforting actually. Which is sort of terrifying, too.

“Yeah well, it’s really making me regret all of the times I busted in on Blaise and Ava in the last year.” It isn’t nearly as funny being on the receiving end of the cock block.

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