Page 18 of Secret Hudson

“Gary was miserable before he met us. All we did was redirect his pain and frustrations. Who else you got?”

Then the only legit person on my list wanders in and the game comes to an abrupt halt because he was never supposed to be on it in the first place.

“What the fuck are all of you doing up so early?” Derek stretches his torso back and forth, revealing in an almost painful way how thin he's getting. Apparently, it's too much for Ava.

“Making you some goddamn breakfast. What do you want? Name it, I’ll get it for you. And then I’ll fucking spoon feed you myself if I have to. This shit is getting unhealthy.”

He stands frozen in mid stomach scratch for a moment. “Um, some eggs maybe?”

Her brows reach up so high they nearly touch her hairline. “And?”

He glances over at us for help. “Toast?”

Ava grunts. “It’s a start.” She slides out of her seat just as he cautiously moves past her to take his seat beside Angel.

“Is she forcing her cooking on everyone or just me?” he whispers.

“Just you, buddy. Word to the wise, start eating more when we’re out. Don’t nobody here want to even smell that girl’s cooking.” Angel twitches his nose back and forth as he reaches up to crack the window because Ava already managed to burn the butter in her frying pan.

Six hours later and I'm pacing back and forth in the penthouse suite we're staying in for the night. Ava sent a car to pick up Hudson. Part of me knows he’s expecting to see me at the airport, but I just can't risk being seen there. Now that Garrett is popping up all over the media thanks to that part he landed on some soap opera, I'm already terrified enough people will start connecting the dots between our past ‘friendship’. Unlike me, Garrett sees no reason to keep a low profile regarding his sexual orientation, as is now all too clear after having seen him strolling down the red-carpet hand in hand with Gay Clooney.

I haven’t yet broached the subject with Hudson, although, I know he's aware of the fact that I'm not out on a public level. What he doesn’t know, is just how motivated I am to keep it that way. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not anywhere near ready to explain it to him.

Not because I think he won’t understand, but because I don’t want him to see me as a coward, the way I see myself.

I check my phone for the hundredth time, wondering if I’ll hear from him or if he’ll just come strolling in. Then the door opens to the penthouse and there he is. God, he’s gorgeous.

Every previous thought is magically erased from my mind as he comes toward me, arms stretched out and a smile that dances on his beautiful lips, as well as in his chestnut-colored eyes.

Then, I’m breathing him in, my face resting near the nape of his neck, body wrapped in his embrace and it flashes through my mind how out of all the places in this world I’ve seen and been, this is now my favorite.

“I can’t believe you’re finally here.” I reluctantly step out of his arms.

“Me either.” He laughs. “For a moment there, I wasn’t sure I’d make it. My mom said she’d have a replacement for me no problem. When it turned out to be her, I began to panic. Last time the woman worked in her own shop she gave half the shit away for free. Woman can’t say no to people.”

“Shit. So, who did you get to cover for you?” I can’t help but notice that Hudson is still holding my hand. It takes everything I have to still focus on the words he’s saying versus all the things he’s making me feel.

“Had to call my ex.”

And he has my full attention again. “I’m sorry?”

He squeezes my hand gently and then leads me over to sit with him on the couch in the main living area.

“Yeah, I had to call Paul. Didn’t want to, trust me, but there was no one else.”

Even while doing everything to avoid eye contact, I can sense him studying my reaction.

“So, Paul is familiar with doing your job? Guess he must have spent a lot of time hanging out there, huh?” I try to sound like I’m joking, but it comes out sounding pathetic more than anything.

“Not exactly. He and I ran the store together when my mother first opened it. He’s got a background in graphic arts and marketing, so he did our logo, all of our branding and advertising...anyway, when we split, he left the shop and started his own consulting firm. Which worked out perfectly for me. His flexible schedule is the reason I now get to be here with you.”

The tender pressure in my palm reminds me to raise my head again. Hudson is smiling. Same way he was when he walked in. Somehow, I can’t help but wonder if Paul was privileged enough to see that same smile when he showed up to work at the store this morning.

“Sounds like a great guy, this Paul. How come you two broke up?” Yeah, I’m really doing it. I’m going to press the issue. Make him tell me all the things that will linger in my brain and torture me at night, along with every other insecurity that comes creeping out after twilight.

Hudson runs his thumb across my cheek. “Paul is a great guy, but he wasn’t ready for the kind of relationship I’m looking for. He’s still got to figure some things out. Like how to be honest about who he is with his family and friends. After a while a guy gets tired of always being introduced as ‘my buddy’. You know?”

I nod. I understand. Too well. Because I heard the same complaint from Garrett.

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