Page 32 of Tin

“What the hell happened in here, Riker? It looks like a fucking bomb went off. You’ve got half your bedding on the floor. There are clothes everywhere. Why don’t you use some of the money you’renot spending on car payments or rent and hire a maid? You could definitely use one.” She sounds like she’s trying to make a joke while still being completely serious. I’m familiar with the tactic. Kirsten uses it on me all the time. Like the humorous delivery somehow makes the condescending message less offensive. It doesn’t.

“I can manage doing a load of laundry without hiring someone.” He’s moving around, probably picking up the scattered clothes before she notices they’re mine. I don’t get it. I don’t think they’re together. After everything that’s happened in the last couple of days, I can’t imagine he would have lied to me about that. Besides, when would he have time to see her? I’m here every night.

“Sometimes I wonder. You do wear that same damn flannel shirt almost every day.” She giggles at her own comment, and I’m pretty damn sure this is her attempt at flirting.

“I bought a pack of five. They’re different shirts. They just look the same.” He exhales loudly. “Can you just get to the point and tell me what you’re doing here so late? Because I seriously doubt it was to hassle me about my lack of housekeeping skills.” I’m oddly satisfied by how annoyed he sounds right now. Even if she’s into him, he’s not feeling it. Although that still doesn’t explain why I was shunned to the bathroom like his dirty little secret. Especially given how unconcerned he seemed earlier at the ranch when he was kissing me goodbye for the entire world to see. Of course, Sidney had been in the barn for the whole thing and no one else had been around.

“Honestly? I couldn’t sleep. The whole thing with Nox today. I don’t know. It just got to me. I don’t know what I would have done if we had lost him.” Toward the end, her words are muffled, and I know there’s only one reason they would be. He’s holding her. Right there. Outside this door. And I hate him for it. And then I hate myself for hating him for it. Because he’s a good man. And she’s hurting. Andof course he would console her. He would do whatever he could to make the pain go away. I know that. Without a doubt. Because that’s precisely what he does for me.

“He’s going to be fine, Sid. I’m not going to let anything happen to him. You know that. Same as I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” I hear something that sounds unsettlingly similar to a kiss. “I’m here for you. You know that.”

“Yeah, well. Next time don’t take so long answering the damn door. It makes a girl wonder,” she grumbles, but it’s not muffled anymore so I’m going to assume she’s no longer in his arms.

“Won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” He chuckles, that deep, quiet chuckle. The one I stupidly thought belonged to me. Why the hell I thought that I don’t know. I guess because until now we’ve existed in this tiny bubble where I never heard him interact with anyone else. Of course he would chuckle around other people. Other women. Women he was promising to look after for all eternity. Why is that making me want to claw my way out of my own skin?

“Okay. I think I’m good now.” I hear footsteps, hopefully headed for the door.

“You sure? You could stay a while if you wanted.” Like hell she could. How fucking long does he plan on keeping me stashed in here?

Thankfully, she’s ready to leave. “I’m good. Really. I just needed something to snap me out of the funk. So thank you.” The door opens. Then it closes. And I come flying out of the bathroom like a bat out of hell riding a broomstick.

“Quinn.” His hand draws out to catch me.

“Get off of me.” I shrug out of his grip. “I have to go.”

He steps into my path but doesn’t touch me again. “Just let me explain.” He hands me one of his stupid flannel shirts, and I slip it on.

“Fine. Explain. But I’m telling you right now, chances are good I won’t give a shit. I don’t much care for being trapped and locked away out of sight.”

He squints at me for a second longer than I’d like, and I’m sure I emphasized the word trapped more than I should have.

“I’m sorry I asked you to wait in the bathroom. I’m even more sorry you felt trapped. I wasn’t trying to confine you...just keep things from getting complicated.”

I twist the shirt tight around my body. “I don’t know, Riker. Sounds like you and Sidney are already pretty fucking complicated. You obviously care about her. What’s the problem? She won’t get involved with the help? Doesn’t want to deal with your half-assed way of living? Or maybe she just can’t stand wading through the constant pool of self-loathing one has to cross to get to you.” I’m raging at him now. Hurling every hurtful thing that comes to mind in his direction. And I don’t even know if he really deserves it or not.

“Are you done?” His hands are hanging listless at his sides, and his eyes, God, his eyes. They’re so dark and deep I’m certain he’s in there drowning. And I don’t know what to fucking do to save him because I’m going under myself.

“Yeah. I’m done.” I nod. “We’re done.” I start to walk away, but his hand comes out and touches mine, his fingers lacing into mine until our palms are connecting.

“She’s my sister-in-law,” he says sadly. “Or she would have been if Hannah hadn’t died before they were able to get married.”

I turn around, speechless.

He shrugs, the agony casting a shadow over his face. “They were engaged for seven years. They built a life together. Were planning on children. And grandchildren. Now I’m all she has left. Me and that damn horse.”

“Oh.” That, I did not see coming.

His hand still twined with mine, he brings me to him until he’s completely invading me, eyes tied to mine, so close we’re breathing the same breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. And I’m even more sorry if I made you feel like I was hiding you from her. I was actually trying to keep her fromyou. She’s protective of me. And overbearing now that she doesn’t have anyone else to worry about. She means well, but sometimes she’s harsher than she intends to be. It changed her, you know? Losing the love of her life. It took something from her. Something more than just my sister. It took a piece of Sid. The piece that belonged to Hannah, I guess.”

I rest my forehead to his stubbled jaw. “Please,” I whisper. “Stop. You don’t owe me any more explanations or apologies. I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that.”

Riker’s free hand tilts my head back to look up at him, and the pain in his eyes tears through me like a knife. His lids close, saving me from the hell he can’t escape, and his lips come crashing down on mine, ravishing my mouth with a desperate urgency. He’s almost frantic as he rips the shirt from my body and carries me to his bed, and I’m prepared to give him whatever he needs to ease the ache within him.

He’s on top of me in no time. Then inside of me. Thrusting hard and fast, as if he’s racing the demons. And I want him to win, so I match him move for move, never once letting up until I know he’s beat them.

He’s still breathing heavy when he rolls over onto his side, gripping me tightly to his chest. We’re both so wrapped up in the emotional and physical aftermath of what just transpired between us, neither of us hears the knock at the door until it’s too late and the door opens.

“I fucking knew it!” Sidney.

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