Page 68 of Don't Fall

“Alright.” She steps aside and lets me pass.

Part of me wishes I’d let her win. This birthday sucks balls already.

With my car sold, Drea’s been kind enough to let me borrow hers. Since Scott’s doesn’t get used much when he’s at the firehouse, he’s been leaving it at the condo for her to drive as well. It’s getting us by, but I know I need to come up with a real solution sooner rather than later. It’s bad enough I’m crashing on her sofa indefinitely, I can’t keep asking her to share everything with me.

I show up late for the first time ever and I don’t care at all. In fact, I’m a little satisfied with myself.

Riley is easy to spot and I make a beeline for her table. I slap the envelope of cash down in front of her, startling her away from perusing the menu.

“Tell Mom I’ll let her know when I get the rest, but to stay the hell out of my way until I do. If I catch so much as a glimpse of the back of her head bobbing away in a sea of people anywhere I tread, the deal is off.”

“Tessa,” Riley starts, big eyes welling up with tears. It won’t work. I’ve seen our mother in her now. I can’t unsee it.

“No,” I sneer, shaking my head firmly, “I trusted you, Riles. A mistake I can’t believe I made, given our family, so I guess it’s only right I have to pay for it. But so do you.”

She scoots to the edge of the booth, trying to get out. “Please, you have to listen to me. I didn’t mean to tell her. She was just going on and on about how stupid and useless I was and how I was never going to be anything and how no one would ever love me and I just wanted to stick it to her so bad, it just slipped out. Here you went and made something of yourself and found this amazing, smart guy and I just wanted to prove to her that it was possible. That you did it and now that I had you, I could do it too!” Tears are streaming down her face as she begs for me to see her side.

“I could lose everything, Riles! And maybe I deserve that for ever thinking I could have it in the first place, but Lane doesn’t!” I shake off the hand she tries to place on my elbow to keep me from leaving. “I get it, believe me, I do. But all the stuff you want, the stuff you think I can help you get, it could all be gone in an instant. God, most of it already is. Lane and I are done. I’m losing my home. And my scholarship is hanging on by a thread, contingent upon our crazy mother keeping her mouth shut. I’ve hurt people I care about and I’m about to disappoint a few more. So, next time you want to stick it to Mom, consider how much she will want whatever you’re about to dangle in front of her, because she’ll sure as hell try to take it and it might not be yours to risk.”

Riley doesn’t try to argue. Just sits there, a sad heap of tears, quietly sobbing into her lap. And I let her. I have no comfort to offer her. Not anymore.

Steering my gaze straight ahead, I start walking. Time to move forward. Push through. Keep going no matter what. It’s every man for himself with the Harrisons and it’s high time Riley learned that lesson too.

With the immediate threat of my mother lifted, it’s time to move on to a more permanent solution. A month ago, the thought alone would have destroyed me, now the idea of never setting foot in that condo again almost seems welcome. It’s no longer the safe haven it once was.

I’ve got ten minutes before class, so sitting in Drea’s car with the window down, I take a deep breath and count to three, convincing myself that it doesn’t hurt until finally, it doesn’t. One more cleansing inhale and a long sip of coffee, not simultaneously, although choking to death isn’t completely unfavorable in light of my current situation, and then I hit call.

“HELLO?” Meredith shouts into the phone.

“There’s no need to shout, Meredith. I can hear you just fine, even when you’re on speaker.” I don’t know how often we’ve been over this.

“Oh, it’s you.”

“Yep.” We’ve discussed the purpose of caller ID on numerous occasions as well in the past.

I close my eyes, and tip my head back, hoping the sun will fry my brain and erase my memory on a permanent basis. A nice bout of amnesia ought to fix my life right up.

“It’s about time you called. I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for months. Haven’t you been getting my messages?” she demands, though thankfully at a more manageable volume.

“I’m sorry. Things have been a little crazy around here. School has been busy. Plus work, and track...” I let the rest of my answer just sort of hang there. I don’t have more to offer her than this.

“Yes, well maybe you wouldn’t have to do half of those things if you picked up the phone every once in awhile,” she barks.

I don’t have the energy to deal with this. Time to rip that band aid off and get on with life. “Look, we don’t need to make this a big thing, okay? You can have the condo. I’ll sign whatever you want me to sign. Just tell me when and where and it’ll be done. I already got most of my stuff out of there anyway. Whatever is left of Aunt Edi’s, I’m sure you’ll want to keep for yourself and Miriam.”

Silence.

“What the hell are you on about?” Meredith sounds genuinely perplexed. “I don’t have any damn papers for you to sign and I’m not about to come and plunder my mother’s condo, stripping you of what little you have left of her.”

I lift the phone from my ear to check the screen. It says Meredith. I dialed the right number. “Wha-at?” I stammer. “Isn’t that why you’ve been hounding me? Because you’re contesting the will?”

“Good God, child. Why would I do that?”

A slew of reasons spring to mind, but given her uncanny graciousness today, none of them seem appropriate for this conversation. “I just...I thought you felt like I’d taken advantage of your family enough already.”

An exasperated sigh rushes through the phone line and into my ear. “I don’t think you and I have ever had a very clear picture of each other, Tessa,” she admits solemnly. “You have to remember, when you first came along all those years ago, I knew nothing about you, but I knew plenty about your mother. So, naturally, though probably not fairly, I placed all the feelings and fears I had surrounding her, on you. My mother was living alone, in another state and I was worried she would be opening her life to your mom and all of her chaos by opening her door to you. And it scared me,” she pauses. “I was wrong. And I should have admitted that to you sooner. Same as I should have thanked you for all the years you cared for her when I was too far away to do it.”

“Oh.” I’m speechless.

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