Page 20 of Don't Fall

Reaching for the handle of the sliding door I almost have to force myself to open it. I’m not ready to go in. Not ready to end this...whatever this is. But I should. I will.

“I’ll keep my Aunt Edi’s umbrella handy just in case.”

Lane smiles and does a small salute with his mug and I accept the silent goodnight and go inside.

Lane

She’s gone but I can still smell it; the combined scent of sweet, hot coffee and her coconut shampoo hit me as soon as I stepped out into the warm breeze and they haven’t left me yet. I breathe in deeply and hold it, letting the air that holds her in it settle in my chest.

I close my eyes and try to shake it off. Shake her off.

Stretching out in the hammock I now have all to myself, I try to zone in on the way it swings me back and forth, staring out at the darkness, hoping it will help to clear my head of all things Tessa. At least all the things about her I’m not supposed to be thinking about. Not just for the obvious she’s my student reasons, because, let’s be real, I’ve already blown any and every aspect of propriety there. Far worse is knowing that I like her, but am completely incapable of liking her enough.

Timing is bad. For both of us. She’s grieving. I’m currently devoid of all feelings. We both need something the other can’t give. On the other hand, I suspect we both want what the other is more than willing to offer. Comfort. Distraction. Mind numbing, earth shattering and reckless, yet entirely meaningless, sex.

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