Page 60 of No More Love Songs

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

SKYLAR

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It’s surreal sayingit out loud to someone new, someone who wasn’t there when the whole twisted tale unfolded. “I don’t know if Brice and Gray ever told you, but his biological mother was a backup singer for me back then. When she found out she was pregnant, she was a mess. She was young, her career was just taking off, she was on the road all the time, and according to her, the father was long gone, just a one-night stand some night after a show.” I bounce my shoulders listlessly. It’s hard to get attached to the story when it sounds more like a freaking soap opera than my life. “Anyway, once she was sure she wasn’t keeping the baby, other options were brought to the table. Gray and Brice entered the conversation. From there, everything went really fast. It was the perfect fit for everyone.”

I relax my arms, which I’ve held crossed over my chest since this conversation started. When my hands touch his, I realize Kit hasn’t let me go, not once. I lean into him more, taking a moment to breathe and collect my thoughts.

“Finn was two when I finally saw through Zayne,” I pick up where I left off. “And when I announced I wanted a divorce, he announced he wanted custody.”

I can hear Kit suck in another shocked breath. Second one so far. Still, he stays silent. Maybe because he’s too appalled to speak. Maybe because the man is all patience and kindness and letting me tell my story at my own pace is all he knows how to do.

“Apparently, he’d been hooking up with Finn’s mom before he and I started dating. I guess he was actively pursuing me when he found out she was pregnant and felt that news like that might ruin his chances with me. So, he forced her to lie about who the father was. Threatened to tell everyone she was a liar if she attempted to out him, and for extra measure, he claimed he could use his connection to me to get her fired.” I roll my head, it’s all the strength I have left for shaking it at the memories. “So, there I was. Married to a liar. Who was my nephew’s father. Who wasn’t listed on the birth certificate and therefore never signed off on the adoption papers.” It was easy enough to hope he was lying about the whole thing, hell, he’d lied about everything else, but Gray wasted no time in getting a paternity test done the second I told him. And there was no denying the truth in those results.

“What did he want?” It’s the first Kit’s spoke in a while.

“To stay married.” I shrug. “Apparently, he enjoyed the lifestyle and recognition that came with being Mister Skylar Thompson. He also enjoyed control. And, with Finn’s life and well-being at stake, I found myself quite willing to hand it over.” I twitch my mouth back and forth, fighting the feelings moving through my face, urging me to cry and just get it over with. “You know what the worst part is about living with a master manipulator? You start to become one yourself. Just to survive it.” I swipe at my face, brushing away the stubborn tears that fought their way past my resolve. “But, I knew it wouldn’t be forever. If I played it right, played the long game, I knew I could get us all out of his twisted grip for good.” I nod, reminding myself I succeeded. “Took over six years, but I did it. I got him to sign the adoption papers. And I got my divorce.” The millions of dollars I’ve paid out in alimony are but a drop in the bucket compared to what it cost my soul.

I turn around. This time, I’m the one who needs to face him. “By the time I met him, I was so sure I’d healed from the past shit. I was ready. I truly believed I’d found the person who was going to make it all worthwhile.” Tears start to press their way to the surface again and I let them. “I was wrong. I wasn’t healed. He wasn’t real. And what we had, wasn’t love. I was just too lost, too alone for too long.” I bite my lip, still ashamed of my own choices. “It made me a target. And I let someone in who could have destroyed my entire family. All because I couldn’t tell the difference between love and my blinding need for it.”

He cups my face with his hands, carefully wiping away my tears with his thumb before placing soft kisses all over my face.

“I’m not desperate. Or lonely,” he murmurs as his lips continue to move over my skin, gradually finding their way to my mouth. “And I can still tell the difference, Sky.”

“I don’t know how to trust myself,” I breathe.

“I know,” he whispers back. “But you will.”

We stay out on the deck for hours, gently swaying with the wind, letting the night serenade us with her sounds. It follows us even when we go inside to lie down, like a comforting lullaby filling in the quiet between us.

We hardly say anything all night, and still somehow manage to say more than two people should be able to without words. The silence we share, lying in our sleeping bags, facing each other, eyes locked on one another, is filled with an exchange so intimate and intense, it keeps us wide awake until morning.

Come sunrise, we step back outside onto the deck, and enjoy a view beyond what I’ve witnessed out here so far. The way the world awakes up out here in the treetops is a magic all on its own.

It’s not until we head back down to solid ground and make our way back to the lodge, that real life slowly sets in again.

“You should set some sleep.” Kit places one hand on the handle and uses the other to slide his fingers through my belt loop and tug me over. He leans in to kiss me. It’s different this time. More tentative, like he’s holding back. “You haven’t gotten near enough shuteye in the last few days,” he murmurs, and I can feel his mouth stretch into a smile while it still hovers over my own. “And I’m pretty sure I’m to blame for it.”

“Is that what you’re going to do? Sleep?” Because I think I could be interested in taking another nap together.

He starts to step back, shaking his head. “Can’t. I’ve got climbs booked and then I gotta go pick up Ari.”

“Oh.” Now I feel horrible for keeping him up all night. Although, I’m not sure it was actually me that kept us from sleeping. Somehow, we just...didn’t.

“I’m fine, Sky,” he assures me. “I promise.”

He moves the handle, opening my door. Then the hand resting on my hip, draws me in for one last kiss.

“I’ll see you later,” he mumbles as he backs up and slowly starts to leave.

I watch him until he rounds the corner to the stairs and disappears from my line of vision. Even then, I wait several more seconds before going inside, just in case he comes back. Because he did yesterday.

But not this time.

So, I surrender to my empty room and close the door behind me.

Where last night the silence was beautiful and brought a new kind of peace to my heart, now it’s deafening in a way that makes me want to come crawling out of my own skin to escape it.

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