Page 44 of No More Love Songs

I hesitate to jump on his offer. Then I find myself hesitating to tell him why. Until I remember it’s Kit and there never seems to be much point in holding anything back from him. “I don’t think she likes me much.”

This time, he really does look a little surprised. Even takes him a second of scooting around in his seat before he grumbles, “She likes you just fine. She’s just too busy worrying about how much I like you to show it.”

I laugh nervously. “Well, of course you like me. Everyone likes me. I’m a very likable person,” I blather on, unable to stop myself or say anything remotely appropriate here.

Kit chuckles quietly, eyes cast down at the mug resting between his hands in his lap. “You know those aren’t the sort of feelings I’m talking about.” He sits up straighter, turning toward me and leaning in, “And you’re not that likable, Sky. Sometimes, you’re downright annoying.”

I have to appreciate that he switched gears and insulted me one second after implying he has feelings for me because now I can ignore the latter. “How am I annoying? I’m funny and smart and I’ve spent my life spreading light and love through song. I’m like the sun or something. I’m a goddamn delight, Kit Morgan.”

“Oh, I’m not saying you’re not. I’m just telling you, being such a goddamn delight makes you hard to be around sometimes.” He makes a face I can’t begin to interpret. “You think I like that I catch myself still laughing about something you said or did hours after I’ve seen you? Or that I spend a good hour or two every night before I fall asleep thinking about some deep conversation or another I never would have had with anyone but you? Or that I’m constantly forgetting what I’m doing just because you happen to walk into my line of vision and smile your goddamn delightful smile? Because I don’t. It’s annoying as all hell.” He laughs, though I haven’t caught up to where this gets funny yet. “Most annoying of all, is knowing how goddamn complicated you’re going to make this for me and how I already know I won’t care.” He shakes his head.

“Kit.” I don’t even have words to follow up that one, but I can’t just stay silent. Not after everything he’s just said to me.

He sighs, sets down his cup on the small table beside him, and stands, holding his now free hand out toward me. “Come on.”

“What?” I can’t tell if I’m still too stunned from his little speech to keep up with things or if he’s really behaving as erratically as it feels.

“Don’t worry. We’re done with my feelings. For now. This is about yours.” He waves his hand, impatiently gesturing for me to take it. “I wanna show you something.”

I’m not sure anything involving my feelings will be less unnerving than his have been thus far this morning, but I suppose that’s a chance I’m willing to take given my hand is sliding into his and I’m getting to my feet.

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KIT

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I have no idea whatpossessed me to open my goddamned mouth and let my heart fall out in its entirety, nor was I fully aware of the contents it’s been harboring as of late until I heard them out loud the same moment she did. Time will tell which one of us will handle this revelation better. For now, it’s probably best not to dwell on the matter. Not in terms of putting things into words anyway. More talking will get us nowhere here.

Time to just be in the moment. Which should be easy given her hand in mine still feels like the most natural thing in the world. Only now I’m keenly aware of how much I don’t want to let go. Which takes me out of the moment and starts me thinking on the future. And I can’t go there. Not yet.

“This way,” I point toward my side of the house when she automatically turns at the hall toward the stairs leading back to her room.

Her mouth opens to voice her surprise but closes again before any words make it out.

Where the lodge was quietly humming with early morning life, my place still holds the silence of a dead sleep. Outside of Jack still shadowing our every move, even the other two furballs are out of sight and likely curled up somewhere in Ari’s room.

Quietly, we move through the house and up to the bedrooms. I slow down when I reach Ari’s door but don’t stop until I’m past it.

“What are we doing here?” Sky hisses, nervously peeking into my kid’s room, clearly worried we could wake her and her friend. I should tell her how impossible that would even be, considering the girls probably attempted yet another all-nighter and will likely sleep at least until noon as a result. No amount of noise two people could make would wake them.

But I don’t. She’s cute when she’s worrying about my kid.

“Remember when you asked me what I hear in your songs?” I ask, reaching for the guitar hanging on the wall between Ari’s door and mine. I used to play it every night, pacing this hall. Now, it mostly just serves to remind me of chapters passed in Ari’s childhood. As well as my fatherhood. Still, I keep it tuned same as every other instrument in this house. You just never know when music is called for and when music calls, I always answer. Like this morning.

“I do remember,” she says quietly after a moment that dragged on for so long, I wondered if maybe she didn’t. “How could I forget? You gave a vague and thus insanely infuriating answer.”

I loop the sling over my head and adjust the guitar, preparing to play. “Well, you’re about to get a better one.” I grin at her, moving back toward Ari’s cracked bedroom door. “Listen.”

I strum the first few chords, and then softly start to sing:

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I’m so grateful for you

And each night I thank God as I pray

Darlin’ you’re my dream come true

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